May The Turkey Be With You

And by turkey, the Uncle does not mean Caruso, Donnelly, Manny, or even Swiller, all of whom have been absent from the scene.

Last Friday the first village board meeting passed without incident.

Presentwere(amongothers and in random order) Don Siebold (and the Mrs.), CarolMullooly,theChief, Pete, Robin, Sandy, Maria (and the Mr.), the Conroyclan, the townboard(sans Aronowitz), Michale Amo (and the future Mrs.?),Ted Jones, DotMorris,and yours truely.

No fights, no name calling, no lawsuits.

Now that's reason enough to give thanks.

Happy Day All!

The Uncle Cries Uncle

Okay, the Uncle mentions gay marriage and you folks wrangle over Woodbury. I raise the subject of national politics and you folks argue about Woodbury. I print a request for info about Harriman and (guess what) you folks debate Woodbury.

The Uncle's dreams of a blog that dares to pretend there is a universe beyond our borders are dashed.

Have it your way.

Dog Park, pro or con?

A Throughway exit north of Woodbury? Where?

Is a Downtown Woodbury possible? What would it be like?

What would you like to see at Nepera and/or Arden?

MISSING!

The People of Woodbury/Harriman

The Pieman has asked for our help.

If you live in the Woodbury section of Harriman (or the Harriman section of Woodbury) or know someone who does, or encountered someone who is related to anyone who once met a person who heard of a resident of Harriman/Woodbury, please let us know.

The pieman swears he will not injure them in any way.

Contact the Uncle at cuzzincookie@hotmail.com

This has been a public service to the Pieman.

The Uncle Continues to Attempt To Piss Everyone Off

President Bush has announced that he is sending the nomination of John Bolton back to the Senate. A year ago, after the failing to get Bolton approved as UN Ambassador, the President appointed him to the post by way of an interim recess appointmnent which expires in January.

You might recall that, at the time, Sen. Orrin G. Hatch (R-Utah) responded: "If they make a recess appointment, then I have to say, it's a finger in the eye of the Senate. I think you'd find there would be an awful lot of repercussions from that."

Oops.

Our bad.

That's what he said in response to press reports that Bill Clinton was about to make an interim appointment to the Federal Bench.

He's OK with this one.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Nemeless on Hudson

The village still doesn't have a name.

Yeah, we're the Village of Woodbury by default, but we have an opportunity here folks.

Come on you villagers, put on your thinking caps.

Also, where should village hall go?

What are the village's official motto, flower, tree, insect, micro-organism and flag?

Who is the official village idiot?

And no, the Uncle is not backing away from pissing people off with subjects other than Woodbury. But we do have these loose ends to tie up.

Power To The People

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

The elections are just about over.

(and the relection campaigns don't begin 'til next week.)

So now is a perfect time to take on the really important issues.

Like, who should be allowed to get married.

The obvious problem with the Defensive Marriage Amendment is that it doesn't go far enough.

Why do the American people only get to decide if gays should be allowed to marry?

A great many of us find the marriage of really ugly people to be offensive.

And what about old people?

Or just plain, annoying people?

We believe that all couples who want to get married should submit photos and bios to be displayed on a website.

A brief video might be nice.

Then the rest of us get to vote on whether they get a license or not.

As Admiral Poindexter says:

"Your Rights End Where My Casual Interest Begins"

That's the ticket!

All's Quiet On the Western Front (and the Eastern, Northern and Southern too)

There is a new-found calm in Woodbury.

The streets of Brigadoon are strangely quiet.

No unexpected visitors in Highland Lakes Estates.

Nothing new has turned up on the garbage cans of Valley Forge.

The Greens, Timber Ridge and Country Crossing have nothing to report.

No one is standing outside the post office, forcing flyers into unwilling hands or rumors into unwilling ears.

Even the general election, still three days off, seems merely an after-thought.

The fever has broken, and the only immediate reminders of what we've been through are the "Thank You"s posted on the Community Party's signs.

You're welcome.

The Uncle's Post Game Show

(Note: after writing this piece I realized that it might be possible to misinterpret some passages as gloating. Therefore, in order to avoid any suggestion that the Uncle is "rubbing it in" I have removed those few parts of this posting)


.................wake up and smell yourself..........................
..............................................
.............................................................................................
..............................................................................................
.........................................................beaten by a girl...
................................................................................................
..................................................................................................
.................................................................................................
.................................................................................................
................................three time loser....
................................................................................................
...............................................................................................
.................one way ticket out of town................................
...............................................................................................
.......................................................combover.......................
................................................................................................
...............................................................................................
.............repeatedly shooting himself in the dick..............
.................................................................................................
.................................................................................................
.....................................tar and feather....
........................................best of luck in your next life.

Ralph: The Man, The Mayor, The Saint

Vote for the HONEST, ETHICAL, TRUTH-TELLING, GOOD, KIND, MERCIFUL, ALL-WISE,EVER-FAITHFUL, HANDSOME, WELL-DRESSED, ANTI-COMMUNIST, FREEDOM-LOVING, SUPER-POWERED, BABY-KISSING, TELEPATHIC, TIME-TRAVELING, NEVER-EXAGGERATING, ALWAYS-FORGIVING, OPEN-MINDED, SUPERIOR-BEYOND-HUMAN-COMPREHENSION, MANLY, VIRILE AND STUDLY, HYPER-VIGILENT, GOOD-TO-THEIR-MOMS, GODLIKE and MODEST Team.

The Preservation team never stoops to lies, fibs or exaggeration and no member of the team or any relative of the team or any friend of a neighbor of a relative of any member of the team has ever done any of that, ever, never, never, ever, ever. Never.

The Preservation team will not resort to name calling, unlike that evil, disgusting, terrible, terrible, pro-terrorist, gay-marriage, anti-baby, flag-burning, communistic Community Party that gets its orders straight from the Kremlin and not only wants to build apartment buildings in all our parks but wants to dissolve the village and the town and the entire state of New York and turn it into a radioactive waste dump and hippie commune.

We are for truth and good things and they want to let rapists out of prison.

So go out and vote for us.

Vote repeatedly ( we’ll tell you how - call 928-2059 and ask for Mayor Caruso).

The Hail Mary Pass

In football a Hail Mary pass or Hail Mary play is a forward pass made in desperation, with only a very small chance of success. The typical Hail Mary is a very long forward heave thrown at or near the end of a half where there is no realistic possibility for any other play to work, though the most famous were thrown at the end of a game. The phrase derives from the name of a prominent Roman Catholic prayer to the Virgin Mary. The point is that the success of such a pass is so unlikely that it would need divine intervention to work.
From Wikipedia

KJ disavows campaign letter
Woodbury — Kiryas Joel officials say they had nothing to do with a letter circulating in Woodbury that purports to be an endorsement by their residents for the mayoral candidate Ralph Caruso."We're not taking any position in this election," Village Administrator Gedalye Szegedin said.The hand-delivered letter is on bogus Kiryas Joel letterhead and is addressed "to our Woodbury Neighbors." It praises Caruso for helping Kiryas Joel win grants through his work for state Senator William Larkin — a boast that presumably is intended to turn voters against Caruso.Caruso is one of four candidates for mayor running tomorrow in the first Village of Woodbury election. Eight other people are running for four trustee seats.
Chris McKenna

Caruso is down to his last few hours. Every little trick seems to have failed.

Skipping the public debate hurt him.

The closed-door debate he got the Record to agree to ended up hurting him.

His refusal to answer any questions about the contradictory and flat-out false material in his Preservation kits hurt him.

OCEAN's newletter warning people about last minute dirty tricks, along with postings on this blog doing the same, have made it very unlikely that trying to tie his opponents to KJ would work.

And so...

The Hail Mary Pass.

Suddenly there is a phony letter claiming to be from KJ's political bosses, supposedly backing Caruso.

An obvious forgery, we are told.

Who could have done this dastardly thing and why?

Since, it is reported to be an obvious fake, it isn't going to hurt Caruso.

So whom will it hurt?

Well, if we decide it was put out by Caruso's opponents, we have reason to be mad at Caruso's opponents.

But, considering all the damage that Caruso has already done to himself, why would his opponents take the risk?

Considering the clean campaign they have run so far, why would his opponents suddenly change to such ugly tactics?

Considering how competently and professionally they have done everything else, why, if his opponents chose to take the low road, would they create a tranparent phony that would be seen through instantly?

Is it too big a stretch to imagine that some campaign, Caruso's for example, in trouble, on the verge of losing, would attempt one last desperate act and ...launch a transparently bogus attack on themselves in order to tar their opponents?

Is that possible?

If not, is there any other explanation that isn't even less believeable?

Dearest Ralph

The Uncle knows that you think that repeating the same crap endlessly somehow makes it true, but over here in Uncle Central we are getting a teensy weesy tired of you having your "***NEWS RELEASES***" posted again and again.

One at a time is really sufficient.

So at the risk of being denounced by you and the Ralphlings (omigod no!) as censoring you, I may end up deleting the second, third or fourth posting of the same bull.

After a while it's just spamming.

Have a good life and be sure to let us know your forwarding address.