The Emperor's New Clothes

A number of posters seem to find fault in Ralph's Wardrobe.

Here at Uncle Headquarters we are always responsive to our readers' requests, and so we offer two possible makeovers.

More shall certainly follow, but darn, we are getting tired of using and reusing Ralph's official head shot. If any of you fine folk have photos of our friend please send them off to cuzzincookie@hotmail.com.

Attack of the Flying Monkeys

Two different sources have told us that this blog was cyber-attacked last weekend.

It was so successful, the Uncle barely noticed.

Gee, who might want to attack the sweet loveable Uncle?

Ralph, as seen by Ralph

Over The Transom, Attached To A Garbage Can

Woodbury Self Preservation Team

Endorsed by the Woodbury Self-Preservation Team

Vote for us please, please, please, please, please, please.

We know where you live

Your Questions Danced Around
QUESTION
What would you do about zoning?
ANSWER
We would not alter zoning in any way unless, of course we do, but we're not going to, probably, yet, now that I think about it, neh, I'd leave it alone, I guess, except for changing it.
QUESTION
You have said that the fire district wouldn't be effected, but attorneys say that's not so. You have called for a referendum on zoning, but the town attorney points out that that is illegal in New York State. You have said that the WP3 project violates the Master Plan, but the Master Plan is clear that WP3 is within its guidelines. You have led people to believe that a village protects them from annexation, but state law makes it clear that it doesn't. Please explain.
ANSWER
I'm right. Everybody else is wrong.
QUESTION
You say that the village can be run for a under $150,000, but insurance alone will be more than that. Then there are huge legal bills, and the ongoing expenses of rental, salaries, etc. Explain.
ANSWER
I have been a full time resident of Woodbury for 35 years.
QUESTION
That doesn't explain your budget numbers.
ANSWER
I am an aide to State Senator Bill Larkin.
QUESTION
What does that have to do with my question?
ANSWER
Oh look, a kitty!
QUESTION
I just want an answer to my question.
ANSWER
I've spent as much time with you as I can, there's a campaign going on you know. We'll have answers for you right after the election.

Want Honest Elections? .......... Then Work For Them!

The Uncle has heard some stories.

Are they true?

Dunno.

But I sure as hell want to know.

So, you're all deputized. Have you heard anything about these stories. The Uncle wants to hear who is saying what.

There is a lie making the rounds that Stephanie Berean-Weeks is pro-KJ. That is to say, according to this bull, that she would sell out Woodbury to Szegedin and Weider. This sounds like pure Caruso crap. But is it being said, and if so, by whom?

If you have heard anyone repeating this lie, please drop the Uncle a line at cuzzincookie@hotmail.com

The second story is a somewhat differently colored horse, but again, the Uncle is looking for confirmation.

Fact, at the Fire Company's forum at the IBEW, the attorney who was making the presentation, Frank Simeone, attempted, repeatedly, to explain village law to Ralph Caruso. Simeone, quoted from legal statutes, Caruso didn't care, Simeone, gave specific cases as examples, Caruso, didn't care. Caruso kept saying that he was right and the law was wrong.

OK, so far no big whoop. That's just Ralph being Ralph.

But, now, it is reported that Ralph Caruso has told a number of people in the senior center that after the after the forum, the attorney came over to Ralph and said "My mistake, I was wrong and you're right."

This part NEVER HAPPENED. In fact, if you were there you know that the attorney left before the forum ended.

So, the important question is: is Ralph telling people this story? Is Ralph actually claiming that the attorney (who had already gone) said to Ralph "You're right, I'm wrong."???

If Ralph never told this whopper to anyone, then that should be made clear.

And if Ralph really is spreading this manure - everyone ought to know so that he can be exposed.

Please, have you heard this story? If so, from whom?

If your town (and now village) matters to you, make sure that people know the what's true and what isn't.

Send all info here to Uncle Central, once again, that email address is mailto:csuzzincookie@hotmail.com

Foundering Father

Pardon Me, Mr. Caruso, Um, There Seems To Be A Problem

New village faces finances
Complicated budget issues for Woodbury
'October 17, 2006
By Chris McKenna


October 17, 2006Times Herald-Record
Woodbury — Residents here who voted in August to create a village with boundaries nearly identical to their town's gambled that their elected leaders could work through any future complications that might arise.

But just weeks before residents return to the polls Nov. 2 to elect the first Village of Woodbury board, town officials are getting a glimpse of the tangled financial issues that lie ahead as they enter what are largely uncharted waters in New York.Among the questions: Which government — town or village — will pocket the sales-tax and mortgage-tax income that Orange County sprinkles among its municipalities to help them meet their expenses?

Woodbury got roughly $2 million from those two sources in 2005. But now, as town officials prepare their budget for next year, they don't know if they can count on sharing the county's largesse any longer, because the new Village of Woodbury might get those checks instead.An even bigger issue: who will collect and spend more than $10 million in Woodbury property taxes? State law dictates the town relinquish its revenue to the village on June 1 — which raises the question of how the town will continue to pay its employees and meet its other obligations.

One possibility is that the village hands its money back to the town. But whatever the solution, some are blasting the activists who told voters before the village referendum that it would be as easy as "leasing" the police department and other town services for a token $1.

"I just think it was incredibly irresponsible," Councilwoman Geraldine Gianzero said yesterday. "Now the town is having to scramble to get answers to all of these questions."

Supervisor John Burke, Gianzero's Town Board colleague, holds fast to the optimistic view that he and other village advocates put out before the referendum: everything will work out in the end."I'm very positive about it," Burke said. "Since 2,100 people voted for a village, we must make it work."

Steve Gross, a spokesman for Orange County Executive Edward Diana, said yesterday that it might take weeks for the county's lawyers to decide how future sales- and mortgage-tax payments to Woodbury will be made."We wish we had the answers for that right now, but it's a complicated issue," he said. "This is an issue that nobody in the county has dealt with before."

Fresh From The Pieman

Name Calling

SO, as things now stand, we have just created the Village of Woodbury.

Only problem, it's kinda been done.

In Oyster Bay there is the Hamlet of Woodbury. Add to that our very own, non-coterminous Town of Woodbury and now the new Village of Woodbury...things are going to get just a tad confusing.

Orange County (the one in New York, as opposed to the one in California or the one in New Jersey or the one - say, did you know that Orange is the most popular county name in America? Honest. There's one Florida, Indiana, North Carolina, Texas, Vermont, Virginia and Lord knows where else) what was I saying? Oh, yeah, Orange County already has the Town of Newburgh and the City of Newburgh, the Town of Monroe and the Village of Monroe ditto for Chester, Goshen. There are the Town and Village of Montgomery - as well as Fort Montgomery. And Warwick(Town and Village)which already gets confused with Walkill and Walden and whathaveyou. We've also got Highland Mills, Highland Falls, Highlands and Highland (well that's Ulster, but close enough).

So, why does the village have to have the same name as the town?

It doesn't!

But what should we call it?

Central Mills?

Highland Valley?

Harriman Junior?

Woodbury Commonwealth?

Newer York City?

Grenitch Village?

Village of the Darned?

Kiryas Ralph?

What say ye all?

"If You Have Nothing Nice To Say About Anyone, Come Sit Here By Me"

The Uncle can be contacted at:
cuzzincookie@hotmail.com