Help A Neighbor Find Happiness

The Uncle has received the following note:





Anonymous said...
"pray tell", that sounds pretty light in the loafers, if you know what I mean, your probably not married! to a woman, that is!





We believe that this may well be a cry of loneliness from our good friend Bob Donnelly.





It doesn't matter which side of the political divide one is on. When you see a neighbor so desperately searching for a soul-mate, you can't help but feel his pain.





So please join the Uncle's campaign to find Bob Donnelly love.





Surely there is some nice fellow out there looking for a short, reptilian, spheroid in Homer Simpson pants.





Bob has so many fine traits it is difficult to know where to start the list. Umm, give me a second...well, we can get back to that later.





In any case, if you know that special someone who might be right for Bob, perhaps someone just out of prison or on strong psychotropic medication, don't hesitate to let the little guy know.

Even Toads Need Love

A Week Of Political Theater

Free Entertainment

Open To All

Woodbury Democratic Committee
Monday, February 25th, 7:45, Woodbury Senior Center
"Take a break from reality for an evening of fantasy at its best." - Variety

Woodbury Village Board
Tuesday, February 26th, 7:30, Woodbury Village Hall (above the Highland Mills Fire Company)
"Just starting the second year of its run. Will it catch on with the public?" - Photo News

Woodbury Republican Club
Wednesday, February 27th, 8:00, The Savory Grill
"An independent upstart production. Can it woo the public away from Ralph Caruso's long running epic?" Times Herald Record

If I Were Lord Of The Ralphlings

How would I attempt to pull off the Cutie-Pie Maneuver?

I'd pick a candidate with a nice simple name (because, after all, all my little Ralphlings are nice simple people).

A name like Bob Smith or John Brown, for example.

I'd line up my Ralphlings and my allies and all their sons and daughters and cousins and neices and nephews and in-laws and such like and I'd wait until 7 or 8 PM on election day.

And then I'd send the Toad or the Ankle Biter into village hall to ask how many people have voted.

And if I found out that 200 or more folks had voted I would slink away into the darkness and wait for another day to strike.

But if I found out that only 50 or 60 or 70 folks had voted I would know that it was time to strike and I would write "Bob Smith" or "John Brown" on my little Ralphlings' palms (because, as I noted, they are but simple folk - not much brighter than, say, paramecium) and send them onwards to write in that name, copied letter by letter from their palms so they would get it exactly right, and victory would be mine.

The Cutie-Pie Maneuver

So, the nominating petitions have been turned in and Ralph's candidates for the village board are...




wait for it



here it comes



NOBODY!

The Perversion Party/Republicrats/Ralphlings filed no petitions.

So, it would appear that Neil and Rich will be running unopposed.

Perhaps Ralph is holding off a year for the big prize - three Village Board seats including the Mayoralty.

OR

Maybe he's about to try one of the cutest ploys yet.

Village election turnout is generally low.

If the Community Party slate is running unopposed, the turnout will be lower still.

Maybe the turnout will be so low that an orchestrated write-in campaign might just win.

It would be a roll of the dice for Ralph, but what has he got to win.

He already knows that the Perversion Party is not widely loved. SO, surpress voter turnout and rally your shock troops.

Hell, it just could work.

America's Homeliest Fun Videos

Better late then never. How's that for a clever phrase?

Here are the prime video takes from the last (january 17th) Town Board Meeting.

Just in time for the next Town Board Meeting - This Thursday, February 7th, at 7:30 PM.

Some of the highlights to watch for:

Bo votes no on the Cold War Veterans Tax Exemption Law.

This is notable for three reasons:
1. Bo ignores a chance to offer an amendment if he doesn't like the way the law is worded.
2. He passes up the chance to explain his position before the vote.
3. When, in response to Mickey O'Brien's question, Bo finally does explain his vote - his explanation is pretty close to incomprehensible.
But judge all this for yourself.

Also of note is John's refusal to answer Mickey's question: "Did you ever teach government?"

The refusal to answer questions from the public is becoming automatic and total.

Hoorah for "Open and Accountable" government!

Public Hearing on Cold War Veterans Tax Exemption
Bo's Missed Opportunity for Amendment or Comment
Swiller




Public Hearing on Cold War Veterans Tax Exemption
O'Brien and Bo's "No" Vote



Public Comment - Swiller



Public Comment - O'Brien, Burke's Refusal To Answer and Haviland's Strange Explanation



Public Comment - Hunter