The Uncle goes off for a few days and leaves the elves with the keys to the blog. And this is what gets posted? One paragraph with a weather joke?!?
Also, now the Uncle finds that there is a running feud with one of Szegedin's shills. The Uncle doesn't like arguments. The Uncle is a calm and easy going sort. The Uncle likes to sit and hum and sip pina coladas (remember that next Spring when the Uncle's b'day rolls around).
The largest and roundest of the elves did leave one interesting thing in the laundry hamper before he was kicked out of the rec room. It is a paragraph from SOCA At The Movies next Penny Saver:
SaveMonroe handed the town back to Sandy Leonard and then congratulated themselves. The single most important point is that if SaveMonroe had gotten every single non-Satmar vote that went to the Democrats they still would have lost to Sandy Leonard 3560 to 3614. Without the Democrats in the race, SaveMonroe would have lost anyway. Without SaveMonroe in the race, the Democrats would have won.
More soon but first I have to throw out all these pizza boxes and coke cans. Like it would kill some people to walk to the garbage bin.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
The Planet Earth Is Closed For Repairs
A brief note to point out that we have dropped the whole notion of climate and we will now be deciding the weather daily on a random basis.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Save Monroe, But From Whom?
The Uncle realizes that we have all been far too narrow in our focus.
There’s a whole, wide, wonderful world of dysfunction outside Woodbury’s borders.
We need only travel as far as Monroe to see how stunted we have been when it comes to political insanity.
SaveMonroe went out of its way to piss off anyone who might vote for them (KJ’ers, Democrats, Sandy Leonard) then managed to not get nominated by their very own personal party, and, after making sure that Sandy Leonard won re-election, congratulated themselves for it.
The Uncle’s massive espionage network (Spies Providing Uncle The Unvarnished Mojo or SPUTUM) has come up with Bob Purdy’s latest e-mail. He sent this out. Honest.
To quote a colleague who said it best "I am proud to have been part of a team that did not compromise it’s principles in order to win an election". To those who supported us we sincerely thank you.
Bob Purdy
President, SaveMonroe
The Town
Outside KJ KJ
PURDY 1870 1
VACARRO 1690 1545
LEONARD 923 2691
BUDICH 2111 2
PARRELLA 2053 2
RIOS 1426 1536
SCHWARTZ 1402 1520
MARTIN 922 2676
WEEKS 900 2729
Now, the Uncle had, for some reason, thought that SaveMonroe’s first principle was to, well, save Monroe. I see now that their primary goal was to avoid getting any votes from Satmars. At this they succeeded admirably. So well in fact that they came in a distant third in the election, drawing just enough votes from the Dems to make sure that they didn’t win either.
The point of the chart seems to be that if Chasidim weren’t allowed to vote, SaveMonroe would have won. The Uncle notes that if Republicans (arguably a more frighteneing group than Jews) weren’t allowed to vote, the Democrats would have won. Further study indicates that if all those Monrovians with any of their own teeth were kept from voting Ralph might well have won by write in.
Am I wrong in believeing that SaveMonroe came into existence specifically to get Sandy Leonard out of office. And, if that’s the case, and if all that they managed to do was assure her victory, why is Bob Purdy smiling?
And lastly, didn’t Purdy and the others notice that the entire Szegedinista misinformation campaign was aimed at getting people to vote for SaveMonroe instead of the Democrats?
There’s a whole, wide, wonderful world of dysfunction outside Woodbury’s borders.
We need only travel as far as Monroe to see how stunted we have been when it comes to political insanity.
SaveMonroe went out of its way to piss off anyone who might vote for them (KJ’ers, Democrats, Sandy Leonard) then managed to not get nominated by their very own personal party, and, after making sure that Sandy Leonard won re-election, congratulated themselves for it.
The Uncle’s massive espionage network (Spies Providing Uncle The Unvarnished Mojo or SPUTUM) has come up with Bob Purdy’s latest e-mail. He sent this out. Honest.
To quote a colleague who said it best "I am proud to have been part of a team that did not compromise it’s principles in order to win an election". To those who supported us we sincerely thank you.
Bob Purdy
President, SaveMonroe
The Town
Outside KJ KJ
PURDY 1870 1
VACARRO 1690 1545
LEONARD 923 2691
BUDICH 2111 2
PARRELLA 2053 2
RIOS 1426 1536
SCHWARTZ 1402 1520
MARTIN 922 2676
WEEKS 900 2729
Now, the Uncle had, for some reason, thought that SaveMonroe’s first principle was to, well, save Monroe. I see now that their primary goal was to avoid getting any votes from Satmars. At this they succeeded admirably. So well in fact that they came in a distant third in the election, drawing just enough votes from the Dems to make sure that they didn’t win either.
The point of the chart seems to be that if Chasidim weren’t allowed to vote, SaveMonroe would have won. The Uncle notes that if Republicans (arguably a more frighteneing group than Jews) weren’t allowed to vote, the Democrats would have won. Further study indicates that if all those Monrovians with any of their own teeth were kept from voting Ralph might well have won by write in.
Am I wrong in believeing that SaveMonroe came into existence specifically to get Sandy Leonard out of office. And, if that’s the case, and if all that they managed to do was assure her victory, why is Bob Purdy smiling?
And lastly, didn’t Purdy and the others notice that the entire Szegedinista misinformation campaign was aimed at getting people to vote for SaveMonroe instead of the Democrats?
This Is Gonna Get Interesting
Let us examine John Burke’s position.
He is about to take his seat as Supervisor. And there, alongside him, guarding his flank, watching his back is...anybody?
Henry (Hank) must dance in the private sector. The surprisingly puissant Bo will, perhaps, attend one meeting, speak of fire and the holding of feet, and then return to his burrow. And Bubbles, she of the golden hair and sparkling eye and baseless harassment charge - John claimed that she is in fact the winner of a four year tour of duty on the Town Board. He is confident that when the absentee ballots are counted this will be made clear to all.
The Uncle’s money remains on Queenan. The Uncle would never be so foolish as to say: "numbers don’t lie." In fact, they do. Numbers lie more often than Caruso does. And when numbers lie we have a special name for them, we call them statistics. But even so, the numbers (a 45 vote lead for Queenan, 101 absentee ballots to be counted) do not look promising for Darleen.
Without his running mates, who can John turn to? - or - To whom might John turn?
And a chorus of eager voices are heard calling out the name "Aronowitz."
You remember how those voices sound - these are the students who have scrunched down and hidden behind their notebooks all through the semester as one unanswerable question after anther is thrown at the class ("How did the emerging mercantile system affect the relationship of the middle colonies with their neighbors to the North and South?" and "If Walter has three times as many apples as George and George is traveling at 18 miles an hour ou est la plume de ma tante?") and now they (those scrunched down students, remember?) hear the unexpected - a question they can answer ("What were George Washington’s teeth made of?" or "Name a country starting with F" or "Who got Jennifer to leave Brad?") and knowing that this may be their only chance all semester to give a correct answer...
...to the question who will be John’s wing man...
...as one they give voice to the name "Aronowitz."
To which the Uncle smiles and says:
Maybe.
But maybe not.
Aronowitz has spent most of this past year as odd man out. The last of the Carusovians. And he has seen the toppling of the "brilliant one’s" statue.
Caruso, the man who lately has brought Larkin more grief than solace has been bounced, trounced and made to eat dog food by Rox the Fox.
Again.
And so now, as the realignment begins to take shape, Mike has to know that signing on with the Pomposity in the Pompadour might not be his smartest move. This might be a good time to make nice nice with his old pals.
Will he?
Stay tuned to this channel.
But let us turn back to Burke. A busy man. Not one week in office and he has already made known some of the changes he has in mind.
He will fire Gary Thomasberger.
He will fire Donna Wanamaker.
He will fire Bobby Kwiatkowski.
He will fire...
Hey, hold it!
First of all, aren’t some of those jobs civil service?
Yep.
And wouldn’t John need a majority of the Board behind him to even attempt to fire anybody?
Yep.
And aren’t there a bunch of people on his list that are very, very, very well thought of in this town?
Yep.
And if John can’t fire them, but they know that he wanted to — won’t that make working relations somewhat, er, icky?
Yep.
So John has announced that he will fire a bunch of very well liked people, whom he can’t fire anyway and with whom he must work and whose good-will can make his job so much easier but that ain’t gonna happen all that much ‘cause good-will and "I wanted to fire your ass" so rarely coexist and Lord this guy must be dumber than dirt.
Yep.
For John, even a journey of a thousand miles must start with his foot in his mouth.
Don’t go away.
This is gonna get interesting.
He is about to take his seat as Supervisor. And there, alongside him, guarding his flank, watching his back is...anybody?
Henry (Hank) must dance in the private sector. The surprisingly puissant Bo will, perhaps, attend one meeting, speak of fire and the holding of feet, and then return to his burrow. And Bubbles, she of the golden hair and sparkling eye and baseless harassment charge - John claimed that she is in fact the winner of a four year tour of duty on the Town Board. He is confident that when the absentee ballots are counted this will be made clear to all.
The Uncle’s money remains on Queenan. The Uncle would never be so foolish as to say: "numbers don’t lie." In fact, they do. Numbers lie more often than Caruso does. And when numbers lie we have a special name for them, we call them statistics. But even so, the numbers (a 45 vote lead for Queenan, 101 absentee ballots to be counted) do not look promising for Darleen.
Without his running mates, who can John turn to? - or - To whom might John turn?
And a chorus of eager voices are heard calling out the name "Aronowitz."
You remember how those voices sound - these are the students who have scrunched down and hidden behind their notebooks all through the semester as one unanswerable question after anther is thrown at the class ("How did the emerging mercantile system affect the relationship of the middle colonies with their neighbors to the North and South?" and "If Walter has three times as many apples as George and George is traveling at 18 miles an hour ou est la plume de ma tante?") and now they (those scrunched down students, remember?) hear the unexpected - a question they can answer ("What were George Washington’s teeth made of?" or "Name a country starting with F" or "Who got Jennifer to leave Brad?") and knowing that this may be their only chance all semester to give a correct answer...
...to the question who will be John’s wing man...
...as one they give voice to the name "Aronowitz."
To which the Uncle smiles and says:
Maybe.
But maybe not.
Aronowitz has spent most of this past year as odd man out. The last of the Carusovians. And he has seen the toppling of the "brilliant one’s" statue.
Caruso, the man who lately has brought Larkin more grief than solace has been bounced, trounced and made to eat dog food by Rox the Fox.
Again.
And so now, as the realignment begins to take shape, Mike has to know that signing on with the Pomposity in the Pompadour might not be his smartest move. This might be a good time to make nice nice with his old pals.
Will he?
Stay tuned to this channel.
But let us turn back to Burke. A busy man. Not one week in office and he has already made known some of the changes he has in mind.
He will fire Gary Thomasberger.
He will fire Donna Wanamaker.
He will fire Bobby Kwiatkowski.
He will fire...
Hey, hold it!
First of all, aren’t some of those jobs civil service?
Yep.
And wouldn’t John need a majority of the Board behind him to even attempt to fire anybody?
Yep.
And aren’t there a bunch of people on his list that are very, very, very well thought of in this town?
Yep.
And if John can’t fire them, but they know that he wanted to — won’t that make working relations somewhat, er, icky?
Yep.
So John has announced that he will fire a bunch of very well liked people, whom he can’t fire anyway and with whom he must work and whose good-will can make his job so much easier but that ain’t gonna happen all that much ‘cause good-will and "I wanted to fire your ass" so rarely coexist and Lord this guy must be dumber than dirt.
Yep.
For John, even a journey of a thousand miles must start with his foot in his mouth.
Don’t go away.
This is gonna get interesting.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Absent Fiends
OK, the Uncle had an excuse - 900 miles is a hell of a commute - but why were such Town Board Meeting regulars as Bo, Henry(Hank), Bubbles and Ralphie nowhere to be seen. OK, truth time, Bubbles is here with me. But what about the others?
Oh My God - what if they've lost the will to whine?
Thank God John was there, along with that stalwart rump roast Mullooly, and, emerging from his vault for the first time in decades, Bob Donnelly.
Bob wanted to know how the town justified the expense of an animal control officer. Move over Chief, looks like Donna's head is going on the block too.
Others present (the Uncle doesn't have to be told, he just knows these things) were Swiller, who seemed somehow confused that someone actually mailed out an unsigned flyer filled with lies (you poor innocent boy), not one but a pair of Crouses, Mindy At Work and Pat Conroy who, we are told, is looking forward to having a wife again.
George was AWOL and Queenan was late (without a note). And a special guest star showed up, too late for the meeting, but just in time to sign autographs - Erroneous himself.
Interestingly, Sheila looked a hell of a lot younger, calmer and less cranky.
All in all a boring time was had by all. Come back whiners, we need you!
Oh My God - what if they've lost the will to whine?
Thank God John was there, along with that stalwart rump roast Mullooly, and, emerging from his vault for the first time in decades, Bob Donnelly.
Bob wanted to know how the town justified the expense of an animal control officer. Move over Chief, looks like Donna's head is going on the block too.
Others present (the Uncle doesn't have to be told, he just knows these things) were Swiller, who seemed somehow confused that someone actually mailed out an unsigned flyer filled with lies (you poor innocent boy), not one but a pair of Crouses, Mindy At Work and Pat Conroy who, we are told, is looking forward to having a wife again.
George was AWOL and Queenan was late (without a note). And a special guest star showed up, too late for the meeting, but just in time to sign autographs - Erroneous himself.
Interestingly, Sheila looked a hell of a lot younger, calmer and less cranky.
All in all a boring time was had by all. Come back whiners, we need you!
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
A Case Study
A display of presumption, of an unbounded sense of entitlement, of total freedom from self-doubt and of the certainty of one’s stainless morality can be a real pisser, ya know? Here is a textbook level example:
"bottom line said...
the swiller crew lost a big one on tuesday. the power is shifting to the forces of good. against greedy developers. against intimidation of our town. against fear. against bigotry.
thank you voters of woodbury, for returning my faith in our desire for what's moral and right.
goodbye "uncle" sheila
please return channel 12's phone calls HAHAHAHAHA!"
Winning is insufficient. It does not begin to fill the near infinite void within such a one as this. And so, in need of more, she (or he, it might not be Darleen - but that’s what comes to the Uncle’s mind) must attempt to convince us of her moral superiority (which she then demonstrates by laughing at the loser).
Ah, it warms the Uncle’s heart. As long as such blighted souls as this rove the Earth, there will always be a muse for these entries.
The battle for that which is moral and right is so very important, that it easily justifies the telling of any number of lies and the employment of each and every dirty trick at hand. Yes, John?
I am curious how it is that on Tuesday night you celebrated not only your own great victory, but also that of Ms. Reveille. How strong is your faith in those 101 absentee ballots? Currently Mickey Q has a 45 point lead. And so Bubbles must pick up 46 more votes than Queenan does. For instance, if Queenan gets just 20, the Valkyrie needs 66.
And you are so certain of her pulling it off that you have already announced that when you take control you will fire Chief Kwiatkowski.
I suggest that this is a mistake. The Chief is not only well liked, but he maintained one of the most professional and capable PD’s in the county.
But, when have you ever heeded my advice? I suggested that you hold your tongue at town meetings, was my counsel taken? I suggested that you cut back on the lies, did you? I suggested that you sell your house and leave town, but did you listen?
So, I hold out little hope that you are open to my suggestions.
By the way John. If you are in the mood for irony: Bo did so well despite the fact that you hid him in the garage while you waltzed the night away with Henry (Hank) that if you had actually danced with the one that brought you, Bo probably would have won and you would now have a majority in hand, rather than your pecker. Just a thought.
"bottom line said...
the swiller crew lost a big one on tuesday. the power is shifting to the forces of good. against greedy developers. against intimidation of our town. against fear. against bigotry.
thank you voters of woodbury, for returning my faith in our desire for what's moral and right.
goodbye "uncle" sheila
please return channel 12's phone calls HAHAHAHAHA!"
Winning is insufficient. It does not begin to fill the near infinite void within such a one as this. And so, in need of more, she (or he, it might not be Darleen - but that’s what comes to the Uncle’s mind) must attempt to convince us of her moral superiority (which she then demonstrates by laughing at the loser).
Ah, it warms the Uncle’s heart. As long as such blighted souls as this rove the Earth, there will always be a muse for these entries.
The battle for that which is moral and right is so very important, that it easily justifies the telling of any number of lies and the employment of each and every dirty trick at hand. Yes, John?
I am curious how it is that on Tuesday night you celebrated not only your own great victory, but also that of Ms. Reveille. How strong is your faith in those 101 absentee ballots? Currently Mickey Q has a 45 point lead. And so Bubbles must pick up 46 more votes than Queenan does. For instance, if Queenan gets just 20, the Valkyrie needs 66.
And you are so certain of her pulling it off that you have already announced that when you take control you will fire Chief Kwiatkowski.
I suggest that this is a mistake. The Chief is not only well liked, but he maintained one of the most professional and capable PD’s in the county.
But, when have you ever heeded my advice? I suggested that you hold your tongue at town meetings, was my counsel taken? I suggested that you cut back on the lies, did you? I suggested that you sell your house and leave town, but did you listen?
So, I hold out little hope that you are open to my suggestions.
By the way John. If you are in the mood for irony: Bo did so well despite the fact that you hid him in the garage while you waltzed the night away with Henry (Hank) that if you had actually danced with the one that brought you, Bo probably would have won and you would now have a majority in hand, rather than your pecker. Just a thought.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Patent Pending
Is Ralphie as dependable as clockwork, or what?
Here it is, the day before the election, and what pops into mail boxes all over town?
Sugar plums?
Lumps of coal?
Nope.
The patented Caruso, always on time UNSIGNED LATE HITTING LIE.
And what a magnificent big stinking turd it is.
Dare I quote, or will Ralph sue for copyright infringement?
Town of Woodbury Town Board Members Voted Thursday Evening November 3, 2005 at a Hastily Called Regular Town Board Meeting – ok let’s pause here and admire the phrase "hastily called regular town board meeting." Honestly, could any of you have produced such a work of art as that?
The Uncle (who in his youth attempted to pass the occasional whopper, learned the hard way, that lying, like wing walking and bear baiting, is a pursuit best left to the trained professional) could never dare dream of creating such an exquisitely bald faced lie.
It’s as if Ralph anticipates the reader will see this mutant flamingo of a statement and say –"Naw, it has to be true, it’s so, it’s so,…obviously self-contradictory that no one would make it up."
Yes indeedee, that’s how the human mind works. Show it the impossible and it will invent an explanation.
So, we have this HASTILY CALLED, REGULAR TOWN MEETING. And were there refreshments? Jumbo shrimp, perhaps?
Nope.
We are told that it "was Originally Scheduled as a "Work Session" Meeting
(yes, of course it was, since every other work session is on Monday night, this mutant one was due on Thursday just so Sheila could be sneaky and turn it into a regular town meeting just like every other Thursday Town Meeting and oh my head hurts, but please, Ralph, continue)
"and Approved The Largest Zoning Change in Woodbury’s History!" Woodbury’s history? Just Woodbury’s history? Don’t wuss out on us now Ralph. It’s an obvious typo. Has to be. I’m sure it was meant to say: THE LARGEST ZONING CHANGE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!
And that’s only one side.
Turn the page over. I dare you.
"READ THIS ARTICLE" aha, John Burke has shown up. Ralph was far too subltle, only captitalizing the first letter of every goddamned word. None of that for big John, a hearty, well pompadored fellow, with capitalization to match – and yes, time for another pause while the Uncle draws yours mind's eye towards this happy band of warriors. See them now, prancing in tights through Sherwood Forest.
Spry, young Robin - no other than Ralph, a leader among men, an object of yearning among women, steady as a rock and twice as humourless.
And Little John, quite obviously, the largest, most fearsome of the group: Carol Mullooly. A woman, yes, but manly in so many ways. A veritable walking rump roast of a warrior.
Friar Tuck – Burke himself. A man of the material world with just enough of the spiritual to get him into the Abbot’s wine cellar.
Maid Marian: Bubbles Reveille, sitting side-saddle atop a prancing roan (OK a large, prancing roan).
Alan a Dale and Will Scarlet: Henry(Hank) and Bo Amidee Haviland (or is it Bo Haviland Amidee?) The Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Brain-Dead of Woodbury politics.
And, off in his keep, humming "shoo fly don’t bother me" the mad Sheriff of Nottingham: Don the Ankle Biter.
And what brings this band of merry men together?
Why, it’s page two of the patented Unsigned Late Hitting Lie.
Ralph, exhausted by his labors on the first side ("Hastily," remember? "Regular," remember?) lies spent, in a coagulating pool of his own grey sweat.
And so John Burke, and all his capital letters, stolen, one at a time, from the Board of Ed (along with a lifetime supply of chalk) takes over:
READ THIS ARTICLE
THE LAWS THAT WERE PASSED WILL PERMIT "HIGH DENSITY HOUSING" ON ALL THE LANDS LEFT TO BE BUILT IN WOODBURY!
Obviously the work of a lesser talent. "High density housing" indeed? That one was already done to death. Yes John, one house per acre John, high density John, sure John. Oh, ho hum!
All the lands left in Woodbury. Oh fer sure fer sure.
OK, OK. I’m hard on John. But what he lacks in wit and originality he makes up for in productivity. A mere 14 words, and he has crammed in three whole lies.
We already know about High Density. But then there’s the little idea that this applies to all the lands left to be built on in Woodbury. And what backs this up? Why "read this article."
I’ll give John this, that last one is subtle. "Read this article" isn’t exactly a lie, because it doesn’t state any facts – all it does is imply.
And what does it imply?
That if you read the article, everything that Ralph and John wrote will be backed up, and by no less an authority than Chris McKenna.
Now give these boys credit. There’s the article, right on the same page, out in the open, for anyone to read. And that’s the beauty part. The article doesn’t say a blessed thing about any of this. But they know no one is going to read it.
High density? – not in the article.
Applies to all the lands left to build on in Woodbury? – not in the article (except in Mike Erroneous’ fevered imaginings).
Hastily scheduled…originally work session…largest zoning change??? Nope, nope and nope. Not one blessed word about any of those in the article.
And they know you won’t read it. Wanna sneak a peek? Don’t tell anybody..shhh – here it is:
November 04, 2005Woodbury board OKs housingBy Chris McKennaTimes Herald-Recordcmckenna@th-record.comWoodbury – The Town Board met last night at the Woodbury senior citizens center and adopted a package of laws allowing developer Bill Brodsky to proceed with plans to build 451 homes on land previously zoned for 148, off Dunderberg and Nininger roads.All the votes were 4-1, with Councilman Michael Aronowitz casting the sole dissenting vote. Supervisor Sheila Conroy and councilwomen Geraldine Gianzero, Lorraine McNeill and Colleen Campbell voted yes.It was a strangely muted conclusion to a controversy that has stirred fierce opposition at town meetings. The crowd of about 100 was silent after the votes. Several spectators later rose to speak, but the board wouldn't let anyone talk about the project without the developer or his representatives there to respond.Afterward, Conroy reiterated what she has said all along were some of the project's chief merits, including the donation of more than 100 acres of open space to the town and the inclusion of age-restricted houses."The thing I feel bad about is it was turned into a political issue from the beginning," she said.Aronowitz, who has repeatedly urged the board to hold off on the votes until it finishes updating the town master plan, said afterward he was concerned both about the Brodsky project and a cluster-housing law just adopted that affects other large land parcels in town."To me, it's not just one project," he said.Brodsky's proposal still needs Planning Board approval. That board has already begun reviewing the project, even though the Town Board had not yet adopted the required zoning modifications.
By the way, the Mayor of Las Vegas wants to cut the thumbs off graffiti artists – how come we never get to do fun stuff like that in Woodbury?
Here it is, the day before the election, and what pops into mail boxes all over town?
Sugar plums?
Lumps of coal?
Nope.
The patented Caruso, always on time UNSIGNED LATE HITTING LIE.
And what a magnificent big stinking turd it is.
Dare I quote, or will Ralph sue for copyright infringement?
Town of Woodbury Town Board Members Voted Thursday Evening November 3, 2005 at a Hastily Called Regular Town Board Meeting – ok let’s pause here and admire the phrase "hastily called regular town board meeting." Honestly, could any of you have produced such a work of art as that?
The Uncle (who in his youth attempted to pass the occasional whopper, learned the hard way, that lying, like wing walking and bear baiting, is a pursuit best left to the trained professional) could never dare dream of creating such an exquisitely bald faced lie.
It’s as if Ralph anticipates the reader will see this mutant flamingo of a statement and say –"Naw, it has to be true, it’s so, it’s so,…obviously self-contradictory that no one would make it up."
Yes indeedee, that’s how the human mind works. Show it the impossible and it will invent an explanation.
So, we have this HASTILY CALLED, REGULAR TOWN MEETING. And were there refreshments? Jumbo shrimp, perhaps?
Nope.
We are told that it "was Originally Scheduled as a "Work Session" Meeting
(yes, of course it was, since every other work session is on Monday night, this mutant one was due on Thursday just so Sheila could be sneaky and turn it into a regular town meeting just like every other Thursday Town Meeting and oh my head hurts, but please, Ralph, continue)
"and Approved The Largest Zoning Change in Woodbury’s History!" Woodbury’s history? Just Woodbury’s history? Don’t wuss out on us now Ralph. It’s an obvious typo. Has to be. I’m sure it was meant to say: THE LARGEST ZONING CHANGE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!
And that’s only one side.
Turn the page over. I dare you.
"READ THIS ARTICLE" aha, John Burke has shown up. Ralph was far too subltle, only captitalizing the first letter of every goddamned word. None of that for big John, a hearty, well pompadored fellow, with capitalization to match – and yes, time for another pause while the Uncle draws yours mind's eye towards this happy band of warriors. See them now, prancing in tights through Sherwood Forest.
Spry, young Robin - no other than Ralph, a leader among men, an object of yearning among women, steady as a rock and twice as humourless.
And Little John, quite obviously, the largest, most fearsome of the group: Carol Mullooly. A woman, yes, but manly in so many ways. A veritable walking rump roast of a warrior.
Friar Tuck – Burke himself. A man of the material world with just enough of the spiritual to get him into the Abbot’s wine cellar.
Maid Marian: Bubbles Reveille, sitting side-saddle atop a prancing roan (OK a large, prancing roan).
Alan a Dale and Will Scarlet: Henry(Hank) and Bo Amidee Haviland (or is it Bo Haviland Amidee?) The Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Brain-Dead of Woodbury politics.
And, off in his keep, humming "shoo fly don’t bother me" the mad Sheriff of Nottingham: Don the Ankle Biter.
And what brings this band of merry men together?
Why, it’s page two of the patented Unsigned Late Hitting Lie.
Ralph, exhausted by his labors on the first side ("Hastily," remember? "Regular," remember?) lies spent, in a coagulating pool of his own grey sweat.
And so John Burke, and all his capital letters, stolen, one at a time, from the Board of Ed (along with a lifetime supply of chalk) takes over:
READ THIS ARTICLE
THE LAWS THAT WERE PASSED WILL PERMIT "HIGH DENSITY HOUSING" ON ALL THE LANDS LEFT TO BE BUILT IN WOODBURY!
Obviously the work of a lesser talent. "High density housing" indeed? That one was already done to death. Yes John, one house per acre John, high density John, sure John. Oh, ho hum!
All the lands left in Woodbury. Oh fer sure fer sure.
OK, OK. I’m hard on John. But what he lacks in wit and originality he makes up for in productivity. A mere 14 words, and he has crammed in three whole lies.
We already know about High Density. But then there’s the little idea that this applies to all the lands left to be built on in Woodbury. And what backs this up? Why "read this article."
I’ll give John this, that last one is subtle. "Read this article" isn’t exactly a lie, because it doesn’t state any facts – all it does is imply.
And what does it imply?
That if you read the article, everything that Ralph and John wrote will be backed up, and by no less an authority than Chris McKenna.
Now give these boys credit. There’s the article, right on the same page, out in the open, for anyone to read. And that’s the beauty part. The article doesn’t say a blessed thing about any of this. But they know no one is going to read it.
High density? – not in the article.
Applies to all the lands left to build on in Woodbury? – not in the article (except in Mike Erroneous’ fevered imaginings).
Hastily scheduled…originally work session…largest zoning change??? Nope, nope and nope. Not one blessed word about any of those in the article.
And they know you won’t read it. Wanna sneak a peek? Don’t tell anybody..shhh – here it is:
November 04, 2005Woodbury board OKs housingBy Chris McKennaTimes Herald-Recordcmckenna@th-record.comWoodbury – The Town Board met last night at the Woodbury senior citizens center and adopted a package of laws allowing developer Bill Brodsky to proceed with plans to build 451 homes on land previously zoned for 148, off Dunderberg and Nininger roads.All the votes were 4-1, with Councilman Michael Aronowitz casting the sole dissenting vote. Supervisor Sheila Conroy and councilwomen Geraldine Gianzero, Lorraine McNeill and Colleen Campbell voted yes.It was a strangely muted conclusion to a controversy that has stirred fierce opposition at town meetings. The crowd of about 100 was silent after the votes. Several spectators later rose to speak, but the board wouldn't let anyone talk about the project without the developer or his representatives there to respond.Afterward, Conroy reiterated what she has said all along were some of the project's chief merits, including the donation of more than 100 acres of open space to the town and the inclusion of age-restricted houses."The thing I feel bad about is it was turned into a political issue from the beginning," she said.Aronowitz, who has repeatedly urged the board to hold off on the votes until it finishes updating the town master plan, said afterward he was concerned both about the Brodsky project and a cluster-housing law just adopted that affects other large land parcels in town."To me, it's not just one project," he said.Brodsky's proposal still needs Planning Board approval. That board has already begun reviewing the project, even though the Town Board had not yet adopted the required zoning modifications.
By the way, the Mayor of Las Vegas wants to cut the thumbs off graffiti artists – how come we never get to do fun stuff like that in Woodbury?
Monday, November 07, 2005
The Uncle thought it was real spooky that two shills from Gedalye Szegedin would show up and start ragging on Roxanne and Sheila and Gerri and Mike.
Now we can see the tit for tat arrangement between KJ's bosses and Caruso.
Take a look at Ralphy's answer to the Times Herald and/or Record's question: (http://www.recordonline.com/news/election05/14distri.htm)
As the county matures and the demand for centralized services increases, the county has found itself delving into everything from contractor licensing to open space preservation. Does this fit your concept of county government? What service would you work to improve?
Right in the middle of his answer you'll find him saying:
A county should not demand that a community grow in a certain way. That decision is best left with the residents and their town or village.
Translation: Hands off KJ!
Who is it you're going to represent in the County Legislature Ralph? Woodbury and Highlands or your bosses favorite village?
(He sure as hell isn't talking about Woodbury. There, he had his posse drag in a letter from County Planner Dave Church every chance they could)
Now we can see the tit for tat arrangement between KJ's bosses and Caruso.
Take a look at Ralphy's answer to the Times Herald and/or Record's question: (http://www.recordonline.com/news/election05/14distri.htm)
As the county matures and the demand for centralized services increases, the county has found itself delving into everything from contractor licensing to open space preservation. Does this fit your concept of county government? What service would you work to improve?
Right in the middle of his answer you'll find him saying:
A county should not demand that a community grow in a certain way. That decision is best left with the residents and their town or village.
Translation: Hands off KJ!
Who is it you're going to represent in the County Legislature Ralph? Woodbury and Highlands or your bosses favorite village?
(He sure as hell isn't talking about Woodbury. There, he had his posse drag in a letter from County Planner Dave Church every chance they could)
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Woowoo Hot Stuff!!
This is what SOCA at Work is distributing around Woodbury. Woowoo Hot Stuff!!
SOCA at Work
You Decide
Next Tuesday, voters in Woodbury have the opportunity not only to decide an election, they get to decide what election campaigns will be like for years to come.
Next Tuesday, voters in Woodbury have the opportunity not only to decide an election, they get to decide what election campaigns will be like for years to come.
You decide if you want politicians to tell you the truth, even when it is unpleasant or to lie to you and treat you like fools.
As you know, last Thursday the Town Board voted on the WP3 (Brodsky) project. They could have delayed the vote until after the election, but they refused to allow politics to effect town business, and, they wanted you to know where they stood so you could make an informed choice. That took guts.
If you vote against them, no politician in Woodbury will ever again be stupid enough to tell you the truth.
Caruso, Burke, Reveille and Sullivan have lied to you daily:
They have said the Brodsky project is high density. It isn’t
1 house per acre is not high density.
They claim that this project violates the Master Plan. It doesn’t.
The Master Plan calls for "suburban density" (3/4 acre to 1 acre per house), if water and sewer are added - they are.
They have said that Brodsky was "blackmailing" the town. He isn’t.
Even John Baranowsky, who backs Burke and Caruso, says that Brodsky did not threaten to sell the land to KJ. We all know that if he can’t build he would have no choice but to sell to the highest bidder,
They say the project was "rushed through." It wasn’t. If Sheila had wanted to rush this project it could have been done weeks earlier, then it would not have been voted on the week of the election. But, as we said, the Board refused to let politics influence their actions.
Darleen Reveille lied about her work experience, in her campaign literature, to make it sound a lot better than it was. When she was caught she complained to the police that she was being harassed.
Ralph Caruso lied about the cost of the land involved. When he was caught he tried to intimidate his accuser.
The last time he ran, John Burke lied about having the backing of the Conservative party. When he was caught he was forced to leave the race.
These people hint that they will overturn the Board decision. What they don’t tell you is that the decision was based on the New York SEQRA law and that if they deny the application the Town will be sued, we will spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on lawyers and we will lose the case.
They accuse the Board of taking bribes. That’s a total lie.
Away from the cameras, Sullivan and Reveille have pushed this garbage. But, if there was any truth to it they should go to the police. They don’t. It’s a lie.
These people have gone to the lie first, last and always.
If they win then every politician will know that the way to win in Woodbury is to lie your ass off.
No one wants to hear people they know be accused of lying. We know that. By being this blunt we put our organization right in the line of fire. So be it, the stakes are too high to hide. We have no choice.
The alternative is to be quiet and see our Town be destroyed. Make no mistake. The future of Woodbury is on the line.
Choose!
Why Is KJ Sticking It's Nose In
Gedalye Szegedin. KJ's administrator, has sent two of his shills, Ari Felberman and Bob Lawrence to post on this blog. They are accusing Roxanne, Sheila, Gerri and Mike of anti-Semitism. It is their favorite phony charge. It is a total lie.
But why is KJ choosing to get involved? Why do they want Rox, Sheila, Gerri and Mike to lose? Why do they want Caruso and his gang to win?
Has Larkin promised them something,and if so what?
But why is KJ choosing to get involved? Why do they want Rox, Sheila, Gerri and Mike to lose? Why do they want Caruso and his gang to win?
Has Larkin promised them something,and if so what?
Stable and Corny
The Times Herald and/or Record thinks that Pete is stable (which is good news) but finds Sheila somewhat corny:
For Queenan, Gianzero Voters need to come out in full force and elect Michael Queenan and incumbent Geraldine Gianzero to the Town Board. Both are dedicated to the town and its issues.
Ms. Gianzero, a lifelong resident of our town, knows firsthand what problems the town is facing and works diligently each and every day to make sure that the residents voices are heard loud and clear.
Queenan is also very knowledgeable about the issues facing Woodbury. He is the chairperson of the Planning Board, and is on the Woodbury Comprehensive Plan Committee. His experience with the Town of Woodbury is unmatched by anyone else running for the Town Board.
Please re-elect Sheila Corny to the position of town supervisor. No other supervisor has put in the time and energy that she displays. She cares deeply about this town and understands that the absence of a good leader can be detrimental. She therefore researches every aspect of an issue before making any rash decisions.
Peter M. Stable Highland Mills
For Queenan, Gianzero Voters need to come out in full force and elect Michael Queenan and incumbent Geraldine Gianzero to the Town Board. Both are dedicated to the town and its issues.
Ms. Gianzero, a lifelong resident of our town, knows firsthand what problems the town is facing and works diligently each and every day to make sure that the residents voices are heard loud and clear.
Queenan is also very knowledgeable about the issues facing Woodbury. He is the chairperson of the Planning Board, and is on the Woodbury Comprehensive Plan Committee. His experience with the Town of Woodbury is unmatched by anyone else running for the Town Board.
Please re-elect Sheila Corny to the position of town supervisor. No other supervisor has put in the time and energy that she displays. She cares deeply about this town and understands that the absence of a good leader can be detrimental. She therefore researches every aspect of an issue before making any rash decisions.
Peter M. Stable Highland Mills
Friday, November 04, 2005
Think!
Ralph is trying to control this town.
He runs both political committees.
He’s getting closer to his goal.
Last March, Bob Donnelly, Chairman of the Woodbury Democratic Committee, sent a letter to Sheila Conroy, Town Supervisor. He told Sheila that "you four board members need not consider running again, unless the woodchucks have more votes than 3 thousand others, and you run on an independent line."
"An independent line???" Who the hell is the head of the Democratic Committee to tell a Republican office-holder that she won’t have her own party’s endorsement? Of course, months later, Ralph saw to it that Sheila didn’t get endorsed, but unless the Democratic and Republican Committees were already conniving to make this a one-party town, how would Donnelley know back in March?
He knew, because back then Caruso and Burke were already conspiring to put together their so called "dream team" of John Burke, Darleen Reveille and Henry (Hank) Sullivan, which was to be shoved down our throats, no questions asked.
When the Republican Committee picked its candidates, rather than endorse a sitting Supervisor from their own party, the picked no one. This was to clear the field for Burke. We were not supposed to have a choice.
But Sheila went out and got petitions signed, and Gerri and Mike stood up in the primary and things weren’t going Ralph’s way.
Then last night the Town Board voted on the Brodsky project. Ralph had already set the stage for people to be scared to death of the development. He and his parrots yelled "high density", "high density" so much that people started to believe them. Though how 1 acre zoning could be called high density is a mystery. Most of the people yelling high density live on far smaller lots.
Bear this in mind. The Board did not have to vote on the Brodsky project last night. They could have put it off until after the election. But they refused to allow politics to influence town business. The project was ready to be voted on, so they voted - knowing full well that it would be used against them. There’s a name for that: integrity. Ralph and John wouldn’t understand.
Meanwhile, Ralph still wasn’t scaring enough people into voting for John. Then, this week a very curious thing happened, right here on this blog. KJ’s hired guns Ari Felberman and Robert Lawrence started posting on this blog. They accused Roxanne and Sheila and Gerri and Mike of being anti-Semitic bigots. They twisted people’s words and talked about Hitler and the Holocaust as if wanting to preserve Woodbury’s independence was somehow wrong.
Why were KJ’s henchmen coming to Ralph and John’s aid? Could it be because Ralph’s boss, Bill Larkin, is KJ’s man in Albany? Could it be because Ralph and John’s plan for a moratorium on building would have caused a massive sell off of land to KJ? Could it be that stopping the Brodsky project would force Brodsky to sell the land to the highest bidder (guess who). Could it be that Ralph wants to fill Larkin’s shoes and he needs the KJ leaders as much as they need him?
Think!
He runs both political committees.
He’s getting closer to his goal.
Last March, Bob Donnelly, Chairman of the Woodbury Democratic Committee, sent a letter to Sheila Conroy, Town Supervisor. He told Sheila that "you four board members need not consider running again, unless the woodchucks have more votes than 3 thousand others, and you run on an independent line."
"An independent line???" Who the hell is the head of the Democratic Committee to tell a Republican office-holder that she won’t have her own party’s endorsement? Of course, months later, Ralph saw to it that Sheila didn’t get endorsed, but unless the Democratic and Republican Committees were already conniving to make this a one-party town, how would Donnelley know back in March?
He knew, because back then Caruso and Burke were already conspiring to put together their so called "dream team" of John Burke, Darleen Reveille and Henry (Hank) Sullivan, which was to be shoved down our throats, no questions asked.
When the Republican Committee picked its candidates, rather than endorse a sitting Supervisor from their own party, the picked no one. This was to clear the field for Burke. We were not supposed to have a choice.
But Sheila went out and got petitions signed, and Gerri and Mike stood up in the primary and things weren’t going Ralph’s way.
Then last night the Town Board voted on the Brodsky project. Ralph had already set the stage for people to be scared to death of the development. He and his parrots yelled "high density", "high density" so much that people started to believe them. Though how 1 acre zoning could be called high density is a mystery. Most of the people yelling high density live on far smaller lots.
Bear this in mind. The Board did not have to vote on the Brodsky project last night. They could have put it off until after the election. But they refused to allow politics to influence town business. The project was ready to be voted on, so they voted - knowing full well that it would be used against them. There’s a name for that: integrity. Ralph and John wouldn’t understand.
Meanwhile, Ralph still wasn’t scaring enough people into voting for John. Then, this week a very curious thing happened, right here on this blog. KJ’s hired guns Ari Felberman and Robert Lawrence started posting on this blog. They accused Roxanne and Sheila and Gerri and Mike of being anti-Semitic bigots. They twisted people’s words and talked about Hitler and the Holocaust as if wanting to preserve Woodbury’s independence was somehow wrong.
Why were KJ’s henchmen coming to Ralph and John’s aid? Could it be because Ralph’s boss, Bill Larkin, is KJ’s man in Albany? Could it be because Ralph and John’s plan for a moratorium on building would have caused a massive sell off of land to KJ? Could it be that stopping the Brodsky project would force Brodsky to sell the land to the highest bidder (guess who). Could it be that Ralph wants to fill Larkin’s shoes and he needs the KJ leaders as much as they need him?
Think!
A few interesting points
A few interesting points about the WP3 (Brodsky) project:
There will be 130 units for seniors. The town’s adult housing law forbids any sale of senior housing to non-seniors.
Brodsky has committed to develop new sources of water which will provide 340,000 gallons a day beyond what the development will use.
The new water connections and storage will improve water pressure for both domestic and fire fighting.
Brodsky must increase the capacity and upgrade the H L E sewage treatment plant at no cost to the H.L.E. residents.
The development will conserve 113 acres (28 % of site) as public open space outside the gated community.
The project is projected to generate approximately $500,000 in school tax revenue per year beyond what it is expected to cost the school system in new students.
Based on average per capita cost, wp3 is expected to net approximately $1,000,000 more in town tax revenue then it will cost the town because the project will have private roads, 24 hour gated security and two on site recreation facilities.
The projections are provided by the town’s independent consultants.
If you are adamently opposed to the project, anything said here will be dismissed and the Uncle is nothing but a sell out. If you are open to it, ask for proof, make up your own mind and realize that that is what the Uncle did. Up to you.
There will be 130 units for seniors. The town’s adult housing law forbids any sale of senior housing to non-seniors.
Brodsky has committed to develop new sources of water which will provide 340,000 gallons a day beyond what the development will use.
The new water connections and storage will improve water pressure for both domestic and fire fighting.
Brodsky must increase the capacity and upgrade the H L E sewage treatment plant at no cost to the H.L.E. residents.
The development will conserve 113 acres (28 % of site) as public open space outside the gated community.
The project is projected to generate approximately $500,000 in school tax revenue per year beyond what it is expected to cost the school system in new students.
Based on average per capita cost, wp3 is expected to net approximately $1,000,000 more in town tax revenue then it will cost the town because the project will have private roads, 24 hour gated security and two on site recreation facilities.
The projections are provided by the town’s independent consultants.
If you are adamently opposed to the project, anything said here will be dismissed and the Uncle is nothing but a sell out. If you are open to it, ask for proof, make up your own mind and realize that that is what the Uncle did. Up to you.
the only way
Swiller tried to read this at the Town Board Meeting tonight, but it was considered too political. We liked it, so here it is:
Recently I was walking my dogs near my home when they spotted an animal burrow, at the edge of the woods, next to the road. They bolted for it and the air filled with the sounds of growls and barks and snarls and a terrible series of high-pitched squeals.
I pulled my dogs back and saw that both of my sweet and loving dogs had faces covered in blood and one of them had a woodchuck in its mouth.
I pulled and shouted and after way too long my dog dropped the torn and bleeding animal, which pawed the air and died as I watched.
Now, I am a meat eater and a woodchuck is a garden pest and my dogs were only doing what was in their nature to do - but it was an awful thing to see.
Animals and people are dying every second of every day - some in an instant with no time to realize what is happening, and some die drowning in a sea of pain and fear and regret.
And the only way for us to deal with this - the only way - is to make as much good in our lives as is possible and to do all that we possibly can to better those lives that we rub up against. And we must also stand against that which is wrong.
I have closely watched the women on this board and I have seen how hard they work. There is not one hint of secret motive or hidden agenda. They are working only for our betterment.
And at every opportunity there is one group of people who stand up and denounce and accuse and mislead and misstate. And there is nothing of value for anyone in what they do.
And so I speak out, and some are offended. I am sorry about that.
I did not know these people a year and a half ago and I have no reason to seek them out and fight with them. I do not wish to offend those of my neighbors who do not want to hear bad things said about the people they know.
But I see that these people are willing to put all our homes at risk. And they never address how they will deal with that risk.
It would be nice to have nothing ill to say about anyone. But as long as they put our homes and our town in danger, I will speak as I am speaking now.
Because what they do is terribly sad and it is a waste and, if Woodbury is destroyed because of them, it would be unforgivable.
Recently I was walking my dogs near my home when they spotted an animal burrow, at the edge of the woods, next to the road. They bolted for it and the air filled with the sounds of growls and barks and snarls and a terrible series of high-pitched squeals.
I pulled my dogs back and saw that both of my sweet and loving dogs had faces covered in blood and one of them had a woodchuck in its mouth.
I pulled and shouted and after way too long my dog dropped the torn and bleeding animal, which pawed the air and died as I watched.
Now, I am a meat eater and a woodchuck is a garden pest and my dogs were only doing what was in their nature to do - but it was an awful thing to see.
Animals and people are dying every second of every day - some in an instant with no time to realize what is happening, and some die drowning in a sea of pain and fear and regret.
And the only way for us to deal with this - the only way - is to make as much good in our lives as is possible and to do all that we possibly can to better those lives that we rub up against. And we must also stand against that which is wrong.
I have closely watched the women on this board and I have seen how hard they work. There is not one hint of secret motive or hidden agenda. They are working only for our betterment.
And at every opportunity there is one group of people who stand up and denounce and accuse and mislead and misstate. And there is nothing of value for anyone in what they do.
And so I speak out, and some are offended. I am sorry about that.
I did not know these people a year and a half ago and I have no reason to seek them out and fight with them. I do not wish to offend those of my neighbors who do not want to hear bad things said about the people they know.
But I see that these people are willing to put all our homes at risk. And they never address how they will deal with that risk.
It would be nice to have nothing ill to say about anyone. But as long as they put our homes and our town in danger, I will speak as I am speaking now.
Because what they do is terribly sad and it is a waste and, if Woodbury is destroyed because of them, it would be unforgivable.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Campaign Short Takes
Last week's Photo News had the Woodbury Republicrat's ad featuring John, Darleen and Bo (remember him) as well as 15 different type faces and a misspelling of Darleen's last name. Now that's impressive.
.........................................................................
The same issue had an ad for Ralph which not only didn't tell you what he was running for. In the photo, Ralph, the dark gray candidate, was against a dark gray background and he was nearly invisible. Good move, the more we see of Ralph, the harder it is to sell him to the public.
.........................................................................
A recent T.H.R. carried a letter from Adrienne Burke (wife of the Democratic candidate) backing Henry (Hank) (the first and only candidate in the history of the "Save Our Town" Party).
During the primary, Henry( Hank)’s supporters were caught off guard when it was pointed out to them that they should list reasons to vote for the man. “Holy Crap,” they must have thought, “there must be some reason. The best they could come up with was “He attends meetings.”
Then, when they realized how really, really pathetic that sounded, they went back into a huddle.
Among the ideas that were rejected were: “speaks at meetings,” “speaks while dancing at meetings,” “reads what we hand him at meetings” and “often stays awake at meetings.”
They briefly considered Darleens’s suggestion: “Let’s just make something up.”
Then Ralph Caruso decided it was time to crack the whip. “You’ll come up with four reasons to vote for Henry (Hank) or I’m going to take the muzzle and restraints off Don Siebold and leave the room.”
It worked. Adrienne Burke was soon able to sign a letter to the Times Herald and/or Record explaining why Henry (Hank) was the way to go: “Hank Sullivan has presented positive alternative suggestions to such things as a safe location for the cell tower, the formation of a town ethics committee, more public participation time, tough questions for developers, etc.”
OK, the Ethics Board would be a good thing. It would also keep someone like, say, Ralph, from chairing both a political committee and the Zoning Board of Appeal (I wonder why Mike Erroneous didn’t vote for it).
“Tough questions for developers”? Okiedoke. The Uncle is thorough. I read through the public hearing transcript until I found a question by Henry (Hank). I found it in this paragraph:
“All these impacts suggested that they have a resolve by the developer. However, if we look close and check the proposed laws to be enacted along with the developer’s proposal, we find many conflicting statements. I will give you one: seniors, of which I am one, seniors are being taken care of. However, it further states seniors don’t have children. That makes someone else feel bad - the taxpayers. Seniors don’t have children, so their taxes will keep the school taxes down. Ask yourself; is this really helping us seniors?”
I agree, the developers would have a tough time answering that one. They might even have a tough time understanding it.
“More public participation time” Aw, for crying out loud. More? Offer less and I’d consider voting for you.
And at the head of the list of reasons to vote for Henry(Hank) there is: “Hank Sullivan has presented positive alternative suggestions to such things as a safe location for the cell tower...”
Yesiree Bob. Hank did in fact suggest putting the tower on Schunemunk Mountain. And while it turns out that reception wouldn’t have been so hot, it wasn’t a bad suggestion. But he made it SIX YEARS AGO! That’s how far back you have to go to find four examples of Hank’s “positive, alternate suggestions?”
Oh my stars and little fishes.
.........................................................................
The same issue had an ad for Ralph which not only didn't tell you what he was running for. In the photo, Ralph, the dark gray candidate, was against a dark gray background and he was nearly invisible. Good move, the more we see of Ralph, the harder it is to sell him to the public.
.........................................................................
A recent T.H.R. carried a letter from Adrienne Burke (wife of the Democratic candidate) backing Henry (Hank) (the first and only candidate in the history of the "Save Our Town" Party).
During the primary, Henry( Hank)’s supporters were caught off guard when it was pointed out to them that they should list reasons to vote for the man. “Holy Crap,” they must have thought, “there must be some reason. The best they could come up with was “He attends meetings.”
Then, when they realized how really, really pathetic that sounded, they went back into a huddle.
Among the ideas that were rejected were: “speaks at meetings,” “speaks while dancing at meetings,” “reads what we hand him at meetings” and “often stays awake at meetings.”
They briefly considered Darleens’s suggestion: “Let’s just make something up.”
Then Ralph Caruso decided it was time to crack the whip. “You’ll come up with four reasons to vote for Henry (Hank) or I’m going to take the muzzle and restraints off Don Siebold and leave the room.”
It worked. Adrienne Burke was soon able to sign a letter to the Times Herald and/or Record explaining why Henry (Hank) was the way to go: “Hank Sullivan has presented positive alternative suggestions to such things as a safe location for the cell tower, the formation of a town ethics committee, more public participation time, tough questions for developers, etc.”
OK, the Ethics Board would be a good thing. It would also keep someone like, say, Ralph, from chairing both a political committee and the Zoning Board of Appeal (I wonder why Mike Erroneous didn’t vote for it).
“Tough questions for developers”? Okiedoke. The Uncle is thorough. I read through the public hearing transcript until I found a question by Henry (Hank). I found it in this paragraph:
“All these impacts suggested that they have a resolve by the developer. However, if we look close and check the proposed laws to be enacted along with the developer’s proposal, we find many conflicting statements. I will give you one: seniors, of which I am one, seniors are being taken care of. However, it further states seniors don’t have children. That makes someone else feel bad - the taxpayers. Seniors don’t have children, so their taxes will keep the school taxes down. Ask yourself; is this really helping us seniors?”
I agree, the developers would have a tough time answering that one. They might even have a tough time understanding it.
“More public participation time” Aw, for crying out loud. More? Offer less and I’d consider voting for you.
And at the head of the list of reasons to vote for Henry(Hank) there is: “Hank Sullivan has presented positive alternative suggestions to such things as a safe location for the cell tower...”
Yesiree Bob. Hank did in fact suggest putting the tower on Schunemunk Mountain. And while it turns out that reception wouldn’t have been so hot, it wasn’t a bad suggestion. But he made it SIX YEARS AGO! That’s how far back you have to go to find four examples of Hank’s “positive, alternate suggestions?”
Oh my stars and little fishes.
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