Letters to the editor for August 30, 2006
August 30, 2006
Thanks to voters
Thanks to all our residents for the creation of the Village of Woodbury on Aug. 10. The voter turnout was great, with almost 80 percent of the voters who turned out (a 4-1 ratio) supporting the creation of the Village of Woodbury.I thank the residents for taking the time to vote, when in many cases it caused a late start of a vacation, cutting a vacation short and, in some cases, completely delaying a vacation to another time. We all realized that our families, our homes, our quality of life and our community are most important to us.
Many thanks to the members of the Citizens for the Preservation of Woodbury and the volunteers for their dedication and hard work, assuring that our residents received accurate information.
We are now on the right road, with the election of the Village Board members not too long in the near future.
As time gets closer to this election, the Citizens for the Preservation of Woodbury will participate in the process to assure that the proposals as presented to the residents in the preservation kit will be fully adhered to, fulfilled and implemented.
If there are any questions,
I remain available at 928-2059.Ralph Caruso
chairman, Citizens for the Preservation of Woodbury
Rut roh!
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
The Uncle Fesses Up
It's confession time folks. It's time that you knew the sad truth about Uncle Betty.
The Uncle is physically incapable of lying.
This is a rare condition called, ortholalia. It is due to the underdevelopment of the part of the brain, the Islets of Caruso, which allow a healthy human being to fib, mislead, prevaricate and fudge the facts. All normal, fun activities, denied to the Uncle.
Some doctors theorize that the stunting of the Islets of Caruso is due to excessive intake of hot chocolate by the expectant mother- Fetal Ovaltine Syndrome.
Be that as it may, the result is a damaged human, one who is unfit for many lucrative careers - law, politics, journalism.
I am letting you know this about the Uncle because I have absolutely, totally, completely nothing to hide (other than my identity).
The Uncle is physically incapable of lying.
This is a rare condition called, ortholalia. It is due to the underdevelopment of the part of the brain, the Islets of Caruso, which allow a healthy human being to fib, mislead, prevaricate and fudge the facts. All normal, fun activities, denied to the Uncle.
Some doctors theorize that the stunting of the Islets of Caruso is due to excessive intake of hot chocolate by the expectant mother- Fetal Ovaltine Syndrome.
Be that as it may, the result is a damaged human, one who is unfit for many lucrative careers - law, politics, journalism.
I am letting you know this about the Uncle because I have absolutely, totally, completely nothing to hide (other than my identity).
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Late News From The Sea
Swiller just emailed this to the Uncle:
Stop the Ripoff of the Monroe-Woodbury School District
Monday, 1 PM, Woodbury Town Hall
On Monday, August 28th, at 1 in the afternoon, there will be a hearing in Woodbury Town Hall, held by the Orange County Industrial Development Agency on whether to grant a tax abatement to the new Hampton Inn hotel being built behind Kohl's Department Store.
This abatement would cost the Monroe-Woodbury School District as much as $1,500,000 a year.
Here are some main points:
* When the Hampton Inn made it's presentations before the Woodbury Planning Board and Zoning Board of Appeal at which they asked for and received approvals and variances, they made no mention of seeking a tax abatement.
* The OCIDA's own requirements for eligibility for tax abatement specifically exclude hotel's, but the Hampton Inn is trying to slip through a loophole for "Tourist Related Industry."
* OCIDA's abatement program exists to lure desirable industries, such as those in high tech, that pay high salaries. Hotels create low paying jobs such as cleaning staff, bell hops, etc.
This hearing ought to take place in the evening. Most of you work during the day, and so attending a meeting at 1 PM on a Monday is not possible. But if you can be there, please show up and let the OCIDA know how you feel.
If you can't come, you can send your views by email to OCEAN at info@nyocean.org and we will deliver them at the meeting. Please do this before noon on Monday.
The County has already deprived us of our fair share of revenue from The Common, don't let it happen again.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Bo Knows
Bo knows that the village election was a vote of no confidence in the town board. How this piece of information was revealed to him has yet to be made public, but Bo knows (and Nike spent Millions a decade and a half ago to drum that into our heads).
George Pedersen knows that "you, with your vote in overwhelming numbers, spoke loud and clear that zoning and master plan issues should be decided by vote." Again how he knows is not known. Nor does he know that a referendum on zoning is illegal in New York State.
The Uncle hasn't heard from Ralph Caruso for a while (my, I hope that doesn't mean that he's miffed with me) but I'd hazard a guess that if you asked Senator Larkin's aide and 253 year full time resident of Highland Mills, he'd say that he knows that the vote was a vote for him and his Committee For The Perversion Of Woodbury to take hold of the reins of power.
He may also know , but not say, that most of the residents of Woodbury wouldn't let him anywhere near those reins and so he's probably prepping his proxies to hold them for him.
We're still waiting to see if Ralph heads his slate with the Polysyllabic Prevaricator, the Boring Baron of Bullshit, none other than John (The Plodder) Baranowski. Runner up in the betting is Bob (Mr. Bubbles) Reveille.
But back to what everyone knows.
Here's what the Uncle knows:
The Uncle knows that the vote was one more piece of proof that, as a motivator, fear works every time.
George Pedersen knows that "you, with your vote in overwhelming numbers, spoke loud and clear that zoning and master plan issues should be decided by vote." Again how he knows is not known. Nor does he know that a referendum on zoning is illegal in New York State.
The Uncle hasn't heard from Ralph Caruso for a while (my, I hope that doesn't mean that he's miffed with me) but I'd hazard a guess that if you asked Senator Larkin's aide and 253 year full time resident of Highland Mills, he'd say that he knows that the vote was a vote for him and his Committee For The Perversion Of Woodbury to take hold of the reins of power.
He may also know , but not say, that most of the residents of Woodbury wouldn't let him anywhere near those reins and so he's probably prepping his proxies to hold them for him.
We're still waiting to see if Ralph heads his slate with the Polysyllabic Prevaricator, the Boring Baron of Bullshit, none other than John (The Plodder) Baranowski. Runner up in the betting is Bob (Mr. Bubbles) Reveille.
But back to what everyone knows.
Here's what the Uncle knows:
The Uncle knows that the vote was one more piece of proof that, as a motivator, fear works every time.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
The Public Has Mumbled
Well, the public has spoken, or not spoken, as the case may be. The few of you who did speak seem to be far more interested in Swiller’s finances than in my own and the Uncle takes no small umbrage at that. (By the way, if any of you hear tell of a missing small umbrage, remember I said that I didn’t take one.)
But, on the whole what you seem to be saying (and not saying) is that most of you don’t really give a rat’s nether region if the Uncle puts up ads or not.
I’ll take that as an overwhelming "YES!"
Hell, if Bo can decide retroactively that the village vote was actually a referendum on how the Town Board was doing its job, I feel at liberty to interpret this poll in any way I damn well please.
But, on the whole what you seem to be saying (and not saying) is that most of you don’t really give a rat’s nether region if the Uncle puts up ads or not.
I’ll take that as an overwhelming "YES!"
Hell, if Bo can decide retroactively that the village vote was actually a referendum on how the Town Board was doing its job, I feel at liberty to interpret this poll in any way I damn well please.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Does The Uncle Sell Out?
The Uncle has been plastering his blather (and your counter-blather) onto the internet for almost 10 months now. And in that time you folks have shown up nearly 40,000 times.
Holy Babbage, that's a lot of hits.
If the Uncle were a more mercenary sort, he'd sell ad space on this blog and make a very minor fortune.
But the Uncle doesn't do things that way.
He sees you, dear readers and commenters, as friends, as family - and one does not make money exploiting friends and family.
Well, the head of the Woodbury Republican committee might.
Bill Larkin's Aide might.
But the Uncle?
No way!
That being said, allow me to point out one thing:
THE UNCLE IS A FRIPPING IDIOT!
Mother of Lulabelle! There's money to be made here.
See how far you can get on the pension of a retired Central American dictator.
The Uncle didn't even think to negotiate Dental when the junta was banging on the Presidential Palace door.
So....
How disgusted, horrified and just plain pissed would you folks be if the Uncle let an ad or two creep onto the damn blog?
This is a democracy. Scare me enough and I'll keep things as they are.
But demonstrate the apathy that Woodbury is known and loved for and LONG GREEN - HERE I COME (say, didn't Long Green star on Bonanza?).
Holy Babbage, that's a lot of hits.
If the Uncle were a more mercenary sort, he'd sell ad space on this blog and make a very minor fortune.
But the Uncle doesn't do things that way.
He sees you, dear readers and commenters, as friends, as family - and one does not make money exploiting friends and family.
Well, the head of the Woodbury Republican committee might.
Bill Larkin's Aide might.
But the Uncle?
No way!
That being said, allow me to point out one thing:
THE UNCLE IS A FRIPPING IDIOT!
Mother of Lulabelle! There's money to be made here.
See how far you can get on the pension of a retired Central American dictator.
The Uncle didn't even think to negotiate Dental when the junta was banging on the Presidential Palace door.
So....
How disgusted, horrified and just plain pissed would you folks be if the Uncle let an ad or two creep onto the damn blog?
This is a democracy. Scare me enough and I'll keep things as they are.
But demonstrate the apathy that Woodbury is known and loved for and LONG GREEN - HERE I COME (say, didn't Long Green star on Bonanza?).
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Seeing The Light
Much as I hate to admit it, sometimes the Uncle is just plain slow.
I watched the last town board meeting. Fully prepared for "the show" as John Burke calls it.
I had my buttered pop-corn, my Diet Dr. Pepper, my cat, all the things that one needs for full enjoyment of our own, home-grown version of "Mad TV."
I loved seeing Bo explain that the village vote was a referendum on the Town Board and that there was 90% turnout in the last presidential election.
I ate it up when Caruso explained that he’d challenged the voter registration of all the Jews on Milval and Serpi because those are "summer bungalows".
I was thrilled to see the Rump Roast, just for old times sake.
But I didn’t quite get the whole "Seasonal Dwelling" thing. Obviously something was going on. Obviously Swiller was on one side and the Ralphlings were on the other. But what exactly was the issue?
So, the Uncle sent out the nieces and the nephews to snoop around a little.
Here’s what it’s all about (near as we can decode it).
Swiller lives in a place called Raananah Park. It was built about 70 years ago as a summer community; what was then called, generically, a "bungalow colony".
Well, there are no bungalows there now. Over the decades the houses have been rebuilt and it’s now one of the most beautiful communities in town - substantial homes (with not a bi-level in sight), huge lawns, and a humongous number of trees. Trees everywhere. Tons of trees.
No wonder KJ’s clear-cutting ways don’t sit well with Swiller.
And, the residents there pay full taxes.
But, once upon a time it was called a bungalow colony.
And that’s what Caruso and Donnelly are trying to use to get Swiller’s place called "Seasonal."
Because...
If it’s "Seasonal" no one can live there after the "Season." That would be from June 15th to October 15th.
It seems the whole point of the Seasonal Law is to keep summer cabins without heat or winter water or insulation or proper leech fields from being used year round.
Those homes in Raananah Park are no summer cabins. Each one is a hell of a lot nicer than Caruso’s shack (which looks like a mobile home).
But, there were Caruso and Donnelly and Mullooly and a brand new Ralphling named Mary Beth King, all trying to get Swiller thrown out of his home.
You gotta hand it to Ralph. Just when you think you know how scummy he is, he shows you that he was just warming up.
If he can’t beat you politically. And he can’t get you to buy his lies. And he can’t scare you. And his smears don’t work. He’ll just try to get you thrown out of your home.
What a fine human being.
I watched the last town board meeting. Fully prepared for "the show" as John Burke calls it.
I had my buttered pop-corn, my Diet Dr. Pepper, my cat, all the things that one needs for full enjoyment of our own, home-grown version of "Mad TV."
I loved seeing Bo explain that the village vote was a referendum on the Town Board and that there was 90% turnout in the last presidential election.
I ate it up when Caruso explained that he’d challenged the voter registration of all the Jews on Milval and Serpi because those are "summer bungalows".
I was thrilled to see the Rump Roast, just for old times sake.
But I didn’t quite get the whole "Seasonal Dwelling" thing. Obviously something was going on. Obviously Swiller was on one side and the Ralphlings were on the other. But what exactly was the issue?
So, the Uncle sent out the nieces and the nephews to snoop around a little.
Here’s what it’s all about (near as we can decode it).
Swiller lives in a place called Raananah Park. It was built about 70 years ago as a summer community; what was then called, generically, a "bungalow colony".
Well, there are no bungalows there now. Over the decades the houses have been rebuilt and it’s now one of the most beautiful communities in town - substantial homes (with not a bi-level in sight), huge lawns, and a humongous number of trees. Trees everywhere. Tons of trees.
No wonder KJ’s clear-cutting ways don’t sit well with Swiller.
And, the residents there pay full taxes.
But, once upon a time it was called a bungalow colony.
And that’s what Caruso and Donnelly are trying to use to get Swiller’s place called "Seasonal."
Because...
If it’s "Seasonal" no one can live there after the "Season." That would be from June 15th to October 15th.
It seems the whole point of the Seasonal Law is to keep summer cabins without heat or winter water or insulation or proper leech fields from being used year round.
Those homes in Raananah Park are no summer cabins. Each one is a hell of a lot nicer than Caruso’s shack (which looks like a mobile home).
But, there were Caruso and Donnelly and Mullooly and a brand new Ralphling named Mary Beth King, all trying to get Swiller thrown out of his home.
You gotta hand it to Ralph. Just when you think you know how scummy he is, he shows you that he was just warming up.
If he can’t beat you politically. And he can’t get you to buy his lies. And he can’t scare you. And his smears don’t work. He’ll just try to get you thrown out of your home.
What a fine human being.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Cincinnatus Speaks
(The Uncle received this email, signed “Cincinnatus.” )
There are those men to whom the rest of us are merely background, or pawns, or, worse yet, prey. Lacking in empathy, they are willing to do or say anything to advance their goals. The truth or a lie are of equal weight, whichever comes first to hand will do. And what happens to those of us damaged by their actions is of no consequence at all.
It seems that two such men are Ralph Caruso and Gedalye Szegedin. Each to the other, a face in the mirror.
In front of them they extend their fingers – for Ralph, there are Donnelly and Siebold and Baranowski and other such – for Gedalye, there are Wieder and Felberman and Witriol and more. Some are merely blunt instruments and some are used for finer work, but they are no more than tools, and liars all.
And behind these two men, deeper removed into the shadows, there are other men. For Caruso there is Larkin. For Szegedin there is Hirsch.
But let us keep our gaze on Caruso and Szegedin. Through conspiracy or merely confluence of interest, they have now achieved a shared goal. Woodbury is a village.
Caruso’s lust to have this come about is evident, but do not doubt that it was Szegedin’s goal as well.
These past two weeks, every action taken in the name of Kiryas Joel moved us toward a Village of Woodbury:
...Attorney Lynch’s announced (but barely felt) appeal to halt the vote.
...The sudden appearance of 200 new voters – the greatest number deciding that the bungalow colonies were their primary residences, while Brooklyn was a mere vacation venue.
...The formation of a brand new homeowners association (presided over by Kiryas Joel’s own Director of Public Safety – a President who did not even know that his members live on Milval and not Melville) with the announced intent of registering 300 disgruntled (we are told) residents.
...And, most telling of all, an astonishing letter from our neighbor, Mayor Abraham Wieder, telling us that he is such a fine and unassuming neighbor and begging us to vote “no.”
And every one of these events frightening the Woodbury folk into voting yes.
How remarkable.
How unforeseen.
Could Szegedin ever have imagined that all these actions might actually result in a “yes” vote?
Without a doubt.
How fortunate for Ralph, that when his fortunes ebbed; that when the united might of the town employees and the firemen and the policemen all seemed poised to kill this Village of Woodbury scheme, once and for all – that suddenly the powers that be in KJ act, and act again, and again, and a fourth time – and every action taken in the name of Kiryas Joel moved us toward a Village of Woodbury.
How lucky for Ralph.
How unlucky for the rest of us.
And now we must look back and ask why.
And we must look forward – and this time think past our fear and act wisely
There are those men to whom the rest of us are merely background, or pawns, or, worse yet, prey. Lacking in empathy, they are willing to do or say anything to advance their goals. The truth or a lie are of equal weight, whichever comes first to hand will do. And what happens to those of us damaged by their actions is of no consequence at all.
It seems that two such men are Ralph Caruso and Gedalye Szegedin. Each to the other, a face in the mirror.
In front of them they extend their fingers – for Ralph, there are Donnelly and Siebold and Baranowski and other such – for Gedalye, there are Wieder and Felberman and Witriol and more. Some are merely blunt instruments and some are used for finer work, but they are no more than tools, and liars all.
And behind these two men, deeper removed into the shadows, there are other men. For Caruso there is Larkin. For Szegedin there is Hirsch.
But let us keep our gaze on Caruso and Szegedin. Through conspiracy or merely confluence of interest, they have now achieved a shared goal. Woodbury is a village.
Caruso’s lust to have this come about is evident, but do not doubt that it was Szegedin’s goal as well.
These past two weeks, every action taken in the name of Kiryas Joel moved us toward a Village of Woodbury:
...Attorney Lynch’s announced (but barely felt) appeal to halt the vote.
...The sudden appearance of 200 new voters – the greatest number deciding that the bungalow colonies were their primary residences, while Brooklyn was a mere vacation venue.
...The formation of a brand new homeowners association (presided over by Kiryas Joel’s own Director of Public Safety – a President who did not even know that his members live on Milval and not Melville) with the announced intent of registering 300 disgruntled (we are told) residents.
...And, most telling of all, an astonishing letter from our neighbor, Mayor Abraham Wieder, telling us that he is such a fine and unassuming neighbor and begging us to vote “no.”
And every one of these events frightening the Woodbury folk into voting yes.
How remarkable.
How unforeseen.
Could Szegedin ever have imagined that all these actions might actually result in a “yes” vote?
Without a doubt.
How fortunate for Ralph, that when his fortunes ebbed; that when the united might of the town employees and the firemen and the policemen all seemed poised to kill this Village of Woodbury scheme, once and for all – that suddenly the powers that be in KJ act, and act again, and again, and a fourth time – and every action taken in the name of Kiryas Joel moved us toward a Village of Woodbury.
How lucky for Ralph.
How unlucky for the rest of us.
And now we must look back and ask why.
And we must look forward – and this time think past our fear and act wisely
Friday, August 11, 2006
Village Of The Damp
Okiedoke
So, the Village of Woodbury is created. The vote is 17 gazillion to 3 (it seems that someone other than Booth and Swiller voted no).
Now what?
Well first, if the number of challenged voters is greater then the margin of victory the machines will be sealed and the official announcement of the vote will be held in abeyance pending resolution of the challenges.
It aint.
Next, the New York State Secretary of State is given official notification of the creation of a brand spanking new village.
Then KJ Mayor Wieder denounces everybody and threatens to sue someone.
Next Town Clerk Desiree Potvin appoints Desiree Potvin as Village Clerk.
Next Village Clerk Desiree Potvin places a notice in the Town's Newspaper of Record announcing an opening for a village idiot.
Then our taxes go up, the village goes bankrupt and we hang Ralph in effigy or in Strawtown.
Damn, Schenectady is a long way to go for a beer.
So, the Village of Woodbury is created. The vote is 17 gazillion to 3 (it seems that someone other than Booth and Swiller voted no).
Now what?
Well first, if the number of challenged voters is greater then the margin of victory the machines will be sealed and the official announcement of the vote will be held in abeyance pending resolution of the challenges.
It aint.
Next, the New York State Secretary of State is given official notification of the creation of a brand spanking new village.
Then KJ Mayor Wieder denounces everybody and threatens to sue someone.
Next Town Clerk Desiree Potvin appoints Desiree Potvin as Village Clerk.
Next Village Clerk Desiree Potvin places a notice in the Town's Newspaper of Record announcing an opening for a village idiot.
Then our taxes go up, the village goes bankrupt and we hang Ralph in effigy or in Strawtown.
Damn, Schenectady is a long way to go for a beer.
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