A Bedtime Story

A few years back, if memory serves, when John Karl first ran for the Monroe Village Board, the folks who run KJ hated his guts and wanted him to lose.

So they endorsed him.

Now, everything that KJ's bosses are doing -

announcing a suit to stop the Village of Woodbury vote -
suddenly registering 200 new voters -
having Moses Witriol (KJ's head of Public Safety) announce the formation of the specious South West Woodbury Home Owners Association -
writing a letter to people throughout Woodbury begging them to vote no

all of that has had one single effect:
to scare a great many Woodburians into voting yes.

Think that's not what they intended?

A few weeks back one of the Uncle's favorite pen pals (I won't say who, but pie comes to mind) emailed the following scenario - the Uncle has been hoarding it until this very night.

Let us say the Village of Woodbury is created.

And let us say a group of people all answerable to one man (Ralph Caruso for example, to pick a name at random) is elected to run the Village of Woodbury.

And them some little time later, the Village of Kiryas Joel submits an annexation request for a humongous portion of Woodbury.

Well the boards of the Village of Woodbury and the Town of Woodbury will both say no, of course.

The powers that be in KJ might well threaten to take the matter to court.

Now, someone looking out for our interests, perhaps one such as Ralph, might well say "court is expensive and you can never tell how they'll decide, can't we work something out?"

And Messrs Szegedin and Wieder will respond "We are reasonable men. Of course we can work out a compromise. Instead of this humongous portion of Woodbury, which we see that you are loathe to part with, give us only ACE Farms (and a bit around it) and the Banda properties on Acres Road and Bakertown Road and Blueberry Lane {which by the way has access to Cromwell Lake, Woodbury's back up water supply}, and Milval (which we enjoy calling Melville) and Serpi and Schunemunk and Amdur Park and the Bungalow Colonies on Owen and a little of this and a little of that."

And, Mr Caruso, or whomever, might well say, "Gee, you already own lots of that, so why not? But do you promise never to come back and ask for more?"

"We most surely do," they will reply in unison.

"Done deal!"

And, one expects, the Village of KJ Board will vote yes, and the Village of Woodbury board (under the wise guidance, perhaps, of Mr. Caruso) will vote yes and all eyes will turn to the Town of Woodbury Board.

And many voices will plead and cajole and argue with the Town Board to say yes.

Do not be surprised if Mr. Baranowski and Mr. Reveille and Mr. Donnelly and Mrs. Mullooly and Mr. Haviland and Mrs. Gerard and Mr. Siebold and Mr. Ungerer and Mrs. Fitzgerald and Mr. Sullivan and Mrs. Reveille and Mr. Seyferth and Mrs. Ungerer and Mrs. Gross-Ferraro -- that is to say all the wise and independent voices that so often try to lend us their wisdom and their independence--will importune the Town Board to say yes.

And Mr. Caruso might well ask the same.

And our Town Supervisor, wisest and independentest of all, might ask the Board "What say you?"

And, perhaps, the Board will remain unmoved and they might very well say no.

Then What?

Then back to court. The very thing that Caruso (perhaps) tried to steer us from at the start. But now the court will be told "Look, your honors, the Village of KJ says yes, the Village of Woodbury says yes, and only the mean and obdurate (look it up, it's a word) Town of Woodbury says no.

"But" say the lawyers "The Town of Woodbury Board is led by a man who has put into print the view that Woodbury must protect its "HERITAGE" from the black garbed men of KJ."

"HE SAID WHAT?" screams the court.

"Just as we have told you, and he has said they pose the threat of creating an 'Imbalance of Voting.'"

"BIGOTED SNOT!" yells the court, "We will have none of it. The annexation is allowed!"

Now it's past your bed times, so turn off the light and go to sleep.