Polluted Political Poltroonery, Seen and Unseen

This past Tuesday the Woodbury Republican Committee met.

They tend to do that when no one is looking.

And when they met, Chairman Ralph Caruso told the committee that one of its members, Roberto Calderone, had informed Ralph that he was moving and so would be resigning from the committee.

Ralph also announced that he had received a letter from former Town Supervisor Bob Till, asking to be appointed to the vacancy.

Ralph was asked when Calderone had given Ralph the news. "This morning."

Ralph was asked when Till had sent the letter. "January 4th."

Amazing! Finally, proof that clairvoyance exists. The committee members would be fools not to snap up a member who can foretell the future.

And yet, when Ralph and Little Miss Echo (AKA the Ankle Biter) put forward the idea that this savant should be accepted immediately, there were those present who actually wanted to wait until any other interested candidates had a chance to apply.

Ralph took a look around the room, did a mental vote count and told the assembled Republicans that Mr. Till’s request to join this august body should be acted upon at once.

And then, a second amazing thing happened. Ralph’s motion failed and the seat was left unfilled until other applicants could be heard from.

It is reported that Ralph’s head then exploded.

But wait, there’s more.

Mr. Peter Stabile then had the opportunity to inquire as to why, when Burke and the Dem’s stole the Town Board election through lies and deceit, Republican Committee Chairman Caruso had had nothing to say?

At this point Ralph’s head, only just reassembled, exploded again.

He ranted, raved, screamed, denounced and expressed in other ways that he was peeved by the question.

"Where were all of you when I lost my run for Mayor of Woodbury? That campaign was filled with lies too," said Ralph, forgetting that he was the one who had been telling those lies.

He then turned his attention (and the remaining shards of head still attached to his neck) towards Gerri Gianzero. "You backstabber!!" he began. He then launched into a litany of complaints which moved Ms. Gianzero to suggest that the Chairman should attempt auto-insemination.

Ah, such entertainment wasted on such a small audience. The major networks, crippled by the writers’ strike, saturated with reruns and searching hither and yon for yet one more reality show, must be contacted. Such theater must be shared.

Thank God, the Democrats are more generous with their performance art. Their shows are open to the public.

And, guess what, there’s one coming up this very Monday.

So, if you feel deprived of entertainment by those closed door Republicans, come on down to the Senior Center this Monday (January 28th) at 7:45 PM and attend the Woodbury Democratic Committee meeting.

Bring popcorn.