Forgive Them Father, They Know Not How They Look
or
Open Mike Night At The Home

OOOOO! Call the sitter, there’s fun tonight at Town Hall. It’s the last Town Meeting with any chance of making it onto TV.before the election. Ralph’s Ragged Rangers will be pulling out all the stops (and you never knew they had stops, did you?)

What To Look For

Henry (Hank)’s latest dance moves as he tries to read a script he’s just been handed containing “his own comments.”

Carol (My Mother Dresses Me Funny) Mullooly, grinding gears as she goes directly into high dudgeon from a standing start to denounce the board’s poor manners for not falling into a dead swoon at her chastisements.

Darleen (Darlene) Reveille, explaining that she is not making a political speech while somehow mentioning 14 times that she is a candidate, how selfless she is, how she is so, so, so, not there to attack anyone, especially the Board which is doing so little, so poorly, for all the wrong reasons and that’s the only reason she’s running, but that’s irrelevant, she is just there as a loving citizen and why oh why is this super high density slum filled with homes for seniors that no senior could ever possibly afford or want or need when if we really cared for our seniors we’d put them all in hospices and turn them into Soylent Green and why do mean people keep saying bad things about me and no matter what happens after the election the Board will still have two months to destroy the town and oh those poor seniors shoved into million dollar high-density homes against their wills and have I gotten the Town sued yet, and sorry, sorry, it’s just that I care too much and here’s what’s wrong with you and if you plan on contradicting in any way shape or form I’ll have to leave because I’m just that sensitive and sweet.

Ralph Caruso, having prompted each and every one of these underlings in what they've just said, will act like he’s the only adult in the room, wanting to talk about Important Business. Will he be “Aide To Senator Larkin” explaining what fine beads and shiny things he has brought the natives (stuff that Larkin could have given the town a year ago, but hoarded till this very moment so Ralphie could play Santa Claus) or how he fought Eddie Diana into giving Woodbury its fair share of Woodbury Common tax revenue (somehow ignoring that this was actually done by Roxanne and merely announced a second time by Eddie in order to give what has to be called an “Unearned Tax Credit” to Ralphie)?

The return of ponderous John. Will Mr. Burke break his self-imposed silence to let us know, at length, how terribly wrong things are going and how Woodbury must be saved from the evil pack of women?

Other stuff to look for

Message of the Day

Last time out, three unconnected strangers who never met until that night(Henry (Hank), Lulu Mullooly and Darling Darleen) coincidentally all attacked Mike Queenan with the same exact words - what an astonishing coincidence. So, what will they all do tonight? Our money is on a speed round of “Savage the Supervisor”

Thank You Mike

How many ways can the posse thank Mike Erroneous for all the wonderful things he’s done and fought for despite those terrible terrible woman. (And for you hard core drinkers out there play “Mike Shots” and knock back a tequila each time Mike pops out of his seat and heads for that mysterious room on his right. Have a basin ready.)

Spot the Uncle

Having missed too many live performances, the Uncle will really, really, really try to be there tonight. So which one is he?