Some Year End Questions

Will John Burke be taking direction from Ralph Caruso, or will he be making his own blunders?

Will Little Miss Bec and her Blooger Boy Toy figure out that what's good for Szegedin isn't necessarily good for the Jews?

Who's paying for Siebold's lawsuit and why?

What happened to SOCA At Work?

Will Monroe voters figure out that they got screwed by SaveMonor?

Will Caruso go away now?

Will the Uncle start posting more often than once a month?

Who is (or are ) the Uncle anyway?

and

Who cares?

Your Tax Dollars Down The Toilet

The Uncle has returned from the false spring of Los Angeles, where the unreality of the weather seems to be echoed in every smile. A company town, Los Angeles has some of the Western Hemisphere's finest neo-Stalinist architecture and some damn fine taco wagons too. None-the-less, I am back in my almost warm enough home nestled into the rolling hills of the once proud -now non-existant-hamlet of Woodbury Falls.

The weather report says that the temperature is 10 degrees below normal. In that that's been true of the past three winters, when does the new normal take hold?

But that's not what I returned from the world's largest potemkin village to discuss. No, rather it is the latest hijinx by the Ankle Biter.

Don Siebold, Caruso's right hand foot, has filed suit against the Town of Woodbury.

On what grounds, you ask.

Go ahead.

Ask.

I'll wait.

Well, he says that when Brodsky cuts down trees on Brodsky's own property, it will spoil Don's view.

And so, young Counselor Bacon has come down from Paltz (the new one) and laid papers upon the town.

This is going to cost money to deal with.

Your money.

It will also cost Don a bunch. Where is he getting it? Who wants Brodsky to have to sell his land? Any Guesses?

A Fine Howdy Do!

The Uncle goes off for a few days and leaves the elves with the keys to the blog. And this is what gets posted? One paragraph with a weather joke?!?

Also, now the Uncle finds that there is a running feud with one of Szegedin's shills. The Uncle doesn't like arguments. The Uncle is a calm and easy going sort. The Uncle likes to sit and hum and sip pina coladas (remember that next Spring when the Uncle's b'day rolls around).

The largest and roundest of the elves did leave one interesting thing in the laundry hamper before he was kicked out of the rec room. It is a paragraph from SOCA At The Movies next Penny Saver:

SaveMonroe handed the town back to Sandy Leonard and then congratulated themselves. The single most important point is that if SaveMonroe had gotten every single non-Satmar vote that went to the Democrats they still would have lost to Sandy Leonard 3560 to 3614. Without the Democrats in the race, SaveMonroe would have lost anyway. Without SaveMonroe in the race, the Democrats would have won.

More soon but first I have to throw out all these pizza boxes and coke cans. Like it would kill some people to walk to the garbage bin.

The Planet Earth Is Closed For Repairs

A brief note to point out that we have dropped the whole notion of climate and we will now be deciding the weather daily on a random basis.

Save Monroe, But From Whom?

The Uncle realizes that we have all been far too narrow in our focus.

There’s a whole, wide, wonderful world of dysfunction outside Woodbury’s borders.

We need only travel as far as Monroe to see how stunted we have been when it comes to political insanity.

SaveMonroe went out of its way to piss off anyone who might vote for them (KJ’ers, Democrats, Sandy Leonard) then managed to not get nominated by their very own personal party, and, after making sure that Sandy Leonard won re-election, congratulated themselves for it.

The Uncle’s massive espionage network (Spies Providing Uncle The Unvarnished Mojo or SPUTUM) has come up with Bob Purdy’s latest e-mail. He sent this out. Honest.

To quote a colleague who said it best "I am proud to have been part of a team that did not compromise it’s principles in order to win an election". To those who supported us we sincerely thank you.
Bob Purdy
President, SaveMonroe
The Town
Outside KJ KJ
PURDY 1870 1
VACARRO 1690 1545
LEONARD 923 2691

BUDICH 2111 2
PARRELLA 2053 2
RIOS 1426 1536
SCHWARTZ 1402 1520
MARTIN 922 2676
WEEKS 900 2729


Now, the Uncle had, for some reason, thought that SaveMonroe’s first principle was to, well, save Monroe. I see now that their primary goal was to avoid getting any votes from Satmars. At this they succeeded admirably. So well in fact that they came in a distant third in the election, drawing just enough votes from the Dems to make sure that they didn’t win either.

The point of the chart seems to be that if Chasidim weren’t allowed to vote, SaveMonroe would have won. The Uncle notes that if Republicans (arguably a more frighteneing group than Jews) weren’t allowed to vote, the Democrats would have won. Further study indicates that if all those Monrovians with any of their own teeth were kept from voting Ralph might well have won by write in.

Am I wrong in believeing that SaveMonroe came into existence specifically to get Sandy Leonard out of office. And, if that’s the case, and if all that they managed to do was assure her victory, why is Bob Purdy smiling?

And lastly, didn’t Purdy and the others notice that the entire Szegedinista misinformation campaign was aimed at getting people to vote for SaveMonroe instead of the Democrats?

This Is Gonna Get Interesting

Let us examine John Burke’s position.

He is about to take his seat as Supervisor. And there, alongside him, guarding his flank, watching his back is...anybody?

Henry (Hank) must dance in the private sector. The surprisingly puissant Bo will, perhaps, attend one meeting, speak of fire and the holding of feet, and then return to his burrow. And Bubbles, she of the golden hair and sparkling eye and baseless harassment charge - John claimed that she is in fact the winner of a four year tour of duty on the Town Board. He is confident that when the absentee ballots are counted this will be made clear to all.

The Uncle’s money remains on Queenan. The Uncle would never be so foolish as to say: "numbers don’t lie." In fact, they do. Numbers lie more often than Caruso does. And when numbers lie we have a special name for them, we call them statistics. But even so, the numbers (a 45 vote lead for Queenan, 101 absentee ballots to be counted) do not look promising for Darleen.

Without his running mates, who can John turn to? - or - To whom might John turn?

And a chorus of eager voices are heard calling out the name "Aronowitz."

You remember how those voices sound - these are the students who have scrunched down and hidden behind their notebooks all through the semester as one unanswerable question after anther is thrown at the class ("How did the emerging mercantile system affect the relationship of the middle colonies with their neighbors to the North and South?" and "If Walter has three times as many apples as George and George is traveling at 18 miles an hour ou est la plume de ma tante?") and now they (those scrunched down students, remember?) hear the unexpected - a question they can answer ("What were George Washington’s teeth made of?" or "Name a country starting with F" or "Who got Jennifer to leave Brad?") and knowing that this may be their only chance all semester to give a correct answer...

...to the question who will be John’s wing man...

...as one they give voice to the name "Aronowitz."

To which the Uncle smiles and says:

Maybe.

But maybe not.

Aronowitz has spent most of this past year as odd man out. The last of the Carusovians. And he has seen the toppling of the "brilliant one’s" statue.

Caruso, the man who lately has brought Larkin more grief than solace has been bounced, trounced and made to eat dog food by Rox the Fox.

Again.

And so now, as the realignment begins to take shape, Mike has to know that signing on with the Pomposity in the Pompadour might not be his smartest move. This might be a good time to make nice nice with his old pals.

Will he?

Stay tuned to this channel.

But let us turn back to Burke. A busy man. Not one week in office and he has already made known some of the changes he has in mind.

He will fire Gary Thomasberger.

He will fire Donna Wanamaker.

He will fire Bobby Kwiatkowski.

He will fire...

Hey, hold it!

First of all, aren’t some of those jobs civil service?

Yep.

And wouldn’t John need a majority of the Board behind him to even attempt to fire anybody?

Yep.

And aren’t there a bunch of people on his list that are very, very, very well thought of in this town?

Yep.

And if John can’t fire them, but they know that he wanted to — won’t that make working relations somewhat, er, icky?

Yep.

So John has announced that he will fire a bunch of very well liked people, whom he can’t fire anyway and with whom he must work and whose good-will can make his job so much easier but that ain’t gonna happen all that much ‘cause good-will and "I wanted to fire your ass" so rarely coexist and Lord this guy must be dumber than dirt.

Yep.

For John, even a journey of a thousand miles must start with his foot in his mouth.

Don’t go away.

This is gonna get interesting.

Presto!

OK Ms P.
You can eat dinner free from the sight of Mr. Witriol.

Absent Fiends

OK, the Uncle had an excuse - 900 miles is a hell of a commute - but why were such Town Board Meeting regulars as Bo, Henry(Hank), Bubbles and Ralphie nowhere to be seen. OK, truth time, Bubbles is here with me. But what about the others?

Oh My God - what if they've lost the will to whine?

Thank God John was there, along with that stalwart rump roast Mullooly, and, emerging from his vault for the first time in decades, Bob Donnelly.

Bob wanted to know how the town justified the expense of an animal control officer. Move over Chief, looks like Donna's head is going on the block too.

Others present (the Uncle doesn't have to be told, he just knows these things) were Swiller, who seemed somehow confused that someone actually mailed out an unsigned flyer filled with lies (you poor innocent boy), not one but a pair of Crouses, Mindy At Work and Pat Conroy who, we are told, is looking forward to having a wife again.

George was AWOL and Queenan was late (without a note). And a special guest star showed up, too late for the meeting, but just in time to sign autographs - Erroneous himself.

Interestingly, Sheila looked a hell of a lot younger, calmer and less cranky.

All in all a boring time was had by all. Come back whiners, we need you!

A Case Study

A display of presumption, of an unbounded sense of entitlement, of total freedom from self-doubt and of the certainty of one’s stainless morality can be a real pisser, ya know? Here is a textbook level example:

"bottom line said...
the swiller crew lost a big one on tuesday. the power is shifting to the forces of good. against greedy developers. against intimidation of our town. against fear. against bigotry.

thank you voters of woodbury, for returning my faith in our desire for what's moral and right.

goodbye "uncle" sheila

please return channel 12's phone calls HAHAHAHAHA!"

Winning is insufficient. It does not begin to fill the near infinite void within such a one as this. And so, in need of more, she (or he, it might not be Darleen - but that’s what comes to the Uncle’s mind) must attempt to convince us of her moral superiority (which she then demonstrates by laughing at the loser).

Ah, it warms the Uncle’s heart. As long as such blighted souls as this rove the Earth, there will always be a muse for these entries.

The battle for that which is moral and right is so very important, that it easily justifies the telling of any number of lies and the employment of each and every dirty trick at hand. Yes, John?

I am curious how it is that on Tuesday night you celebrated not only your own great victory, but also that of Ms. Reveille. How strong is your faith in those 101 absentee ballots? Currently Mickey Q has a 45 point lead. And so Bubbles must pick up 46 more votes than Queenan does. For instance, if Queenan gets just 20, the Valkyrie needs 66.

And you are so certain of her pulling it off that you have already announced that when you take control you will fire Chief Kwiatkowski.

I suggest that this is a mistake. The Chief is not only well liked, but he maintained one of the most professional and capable PD’s in the county.

But, when have you ever heeded my advice? I suggested that you hold your tongue at town meetings, was my counsel taken? I suggested that you cut back on the lies, did you? I suggested that you sell your house and leave town, but did you listen?

So, I hold out little hope that you are open to my suggestions.


By the way John. If you are in the mood for irony: Bo did so well despite the fact that you hid him in the garage while you waltzed the night away with Henry (Hank) that if you had actually danced with the one that brought you, Bo probably would have won and you would now have a majority in hand, rather than your pecker. Just a thought.

Patent Pending

Is Ralphie as dependable as clockwork, or what?

Here it is, the day before the election, and what pops into mail boxes all over town?

Sugar plums?

Lumps of coal?

Nope.

The patented Caruso, always on time UNSIGNED LATE HITTING LIE.

And what a magnificent big stinking turd it is.

Dare I quote, or will Ralph sue for copyright infringement?

Town of Woodbury Town Board Members Voted Thursday Evening November 3, 2005 at a Hastily Called Regular Town Board Meeting – ok let’s pause here and admire the phrase "hastily called regular town board meeting." Honestly, could any of you have produced such a work of art as that?

The Uncle (who in his youth attempted to pass the occasional whopper, learned the hard way, that lying, like wing walking and bear baiting, is a pursuit best left to the trained professional) could never dare dream of creating such an exquisitely bald faced lie.

It’s as if Ralph anticipates the reader will see this mutant flamingo of a statement and say –"Naw, it has to be true, it’s so, it’s so,…obviously self-contradictory that no one would make it up."

Yes indeedee, that’s how the human mind works. Show it the impossible and it will invent an explanation.

So, we have this HASTILY CALLED, REGULAR TOWN MEETING. And were there refreshments? Jumbo shrimp, perhaps?

Nope.

We are told that it "was Originally Scheduled as a "Work Session" Meeting

(yes, of course it was, since every other work session is on Monday night, this mutant one was due on Thursday just so Sheila could be sneaky and turn it into a regular town meeting just like every other Thursday Town Meeting and oh my head hurts, but please, Ralph, continue)

"and Approved The Largest Zoning Change in Woodbury’s History!" Woodbury’s history? Just Woodbury’s history? Don’t wuss out on us now Ralph. It’s an obvious typo. Has to be. I’m sure it was meant to say: THE LARGEST ZONING CHANGE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!

And that’s only one side.
Turn the page over. I dare you.

"READ THIS ARTICLE" aha, John Burke has shown up. Ralph was far too subltle, only captitalizing the first letter of every goddamned word. None of that for big John, a hearty, well pompadored fellow, with capitalization to match – and yes, time for another pause while the Uncle draws yours mind's eye towards this happy band of warriors. See them now, prancing in tights through Sherwood Forest.

Spry, young Robin - no other than Ralph, a leader among men, an object of yearning among women, steady as a rock and twice as humourless.

And Little John, quite obviously, the largest, most fearsome of the group: Carol Mullooly. A woman, yes, but manly in so many ways. A veritable walking rump roast of a warrior.

Friar Tuck – Burke himself. A man of the material world with just enough of the spiritual to get him into the Abbot’s wine cellar.

Maid Marian: Bubbles Reveille, sitting side-saddle atop a prancing roan (OK a large, prancing roan).

Alan a Dale and Will Scarlet: Henry(Hank) and Bo Amidee Haviland (or is it Bo Haviland Amidee?) The Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Brain-Dead of Woodbury politics.

And, off in his keep, humming "shoo fly don’t bother me" the mad Sheriff of Nottingham: Don the Ankle Biter.

And what brings this band of merry men together?

Why, it’s page two of the patented Unsigned Late Hitting Lie.

Ralph, exhausted by his labors on the first side ("Hastily," remember? "Regular," remember?) lies spent, in a coagulating pool of his own grey sweat.

And so John Burke, and all his capital letters, stolen, one at a time, from the Board of Ed (along with a lifetime supply of chalk) takes over:

READ THIS ARTICLE
THE LAWS THAT WERE PASSED WILL PERMIT "HIGH DENSITY HOUSING" ON ALL THE LANDS LEFT TO BE BUILT IN WOODBURY!

Obviously the work of a lesser talent. "High density housing" indeed? That one was already done to death. Yes John, one house per acre John, high density John, sure John. Oh, ho hum!

All the lands left in Woodbury. Oh fer sure fer sure.

OK, OK. I’m hard on John. But what he lacks in wit and originality he makes up for in productivity. A mere 14 words, and he has crammed in three whole lies.

We already know about High Density. But then there’s the little idea that this applies to all the lands left to be built on in Woodbury. And what backs this up? Why "read this article."

I’ll give John this, that last one is subtle. "Read this article" isn’t exactly a lie, because it doesn’t state any facts – all it does is imply.

And what does it imply?

That if you read the article, everything that Ralph and John wrote will be backed up, and by no less an authority than Chris McKenna.

Now give these boys credit. There’s the article, right on the same page, out in the open, for anyone to read. And that’s the beauty part. The article doesn’t say a blessed thing about any of this. But they know no one is going to read it.

High density? – not in the article.

Applies to all the lands left to build on in Woodbury? – not in the article (except in Mike Erroneous’ fevered imaginings).

Hastily scheduled…originally work session…largest zoning change??? Nope, nope and nope. Not one blessed word about any of those in the article.

And they know you won’t read it. Wanna sneak a peek? Don’t tell anybody..shhh – here it is:

November 04, 2005Woodbury board OKs housingBy Chris McKennaTimes Herald-Recordcmckenna@th-record.comWoodbury – The Town Board met last night at the Woodbury senior citizens center and adopted a package of laws allowing developer Bill Brodsky to proceed with plans to build 451 homes on land previously zoned for 148, off Dunderberg and Nininger roads.All the votes were 4-1, with Councilman Michael Aronowitz casting the sole dissenting vote. Supervisor Sheila Conroy and councilwomen Geraldine Gianzero, Lorraine McNeill and Colleen Campbell voted yes.It was a strangely muted conclusion to a controversy that has stirred fierce opposition at town meetings. The crowd of about 100 was silent after the votes. Several spectators later rose to speak, but the board wouldn't let anyone talk about the project without the developer or his representatives there to respond.Afterward, Conroy reiterated what she has said all along were some of the project's chief merits, including the donation of more than 100 acres of open space to the town and the inclusion of age-restricted houses."The thing I feel bad about is it was turned into a political issue from the beginning," she said.Aronowitz, who has repeatedly urged the board to hold off on the votes until it finishes updating the town master plan, said afterward he was concerned both about the Brodsky project and a cluster-housing law just adopted that affects other large land parcels in town."To me, it's not just one project," he said.Brodsky's proposal still needs Planning Board approval. That board has already begun reviewing the project, even though the Town Board had not yet adopted the required zoning modifications.

By the way, the Mayor of Las Vegas wants to cut the thumbs off graffiti artists – how come we never get to do fun stuff like that in Woodbury?

The Uncle thought it was real spooky that two shills from Gedalye Szegedin would show up and start ragging on Roxanne and Sheila and Gerri and Mike.

Now we can see the tit for tat arrangement between KJ's bosses and Caruso.

Take a look at Ralphy's answer to the Times Herald and/or Record's question: (http://www.recordonline.com/news/election05/14distri.htm)
As the county matures and the demand for centralized services increases, the county has found itself delving into everything from contractor licensing to open space preservation. Does this fit your concept of county government? What service would you work to improve?

Right in the middle of his answer you'll find him saying:
A county should not demand that a community grow in a certain way. That decision is best left with the residents and their town or village.

Translation: Hands off KJ!

Who is it you're going to represent in the County Legislature Ralph? Woodbury and Highlands or your bosses favorite village?

(He sure as hell isn't talking about Woodbury. There, he had his posse drag in a letter from County Planner Dave Church every chance they could)

Woowoo Hot Stuff!!

This is what SOCA at Work is distributing around Woodbury. Woowoo Hot Stuff!!

SOCA at Work

You Decide
Next Tuesday, voters in Woodbury have the opportunity not only to decide an election, they get to decide what election campaigns will be like for years to come.

You decide if you want politicians to tell you the truth, even when it is unpleasant or to lie to you and treat you like fools.

As you know, last Thursday the Town Board voted on the WP3 (Brodsky) project. They could have delayed the vote until after the election, but they refused to allow politics to effect town business, and, they wanted you to know where they stood so you could make an informed choice. That took guts.

If you vote against them, no politician in Woodbury will ever again be stupid enough to tell you the truth.

Caruso, Burke, Reveille and Sullivan have lied to you daily:

They have said the Brodsky project is high density. It isn’t
1 house per acre is not high density.

They claim that this project violates the Master Plan. It doesn’t.
The Master Plan calls for "suburban density" (3/4 acre to 1 acre per house), if water and sewer are added - they are.

They have said that Brodsky was "blackmailing" the town. He isn’t.
Even John Baranowsky, who backs Burke and Caruso, says that Brodsky did not threaten to sell the land to KJ. We all know that if he can’t build he would have no choice but to sell to the highest bidder,

They say the project was "rushed through." It wasn’t. If Sheila had wanted to rush this project it could have been done weeks earlier, then it would not have been voted on the week of the election. But, as we said, the Board refused to let politics influence their actions.

Darleen Reveille lied about her work experience, in her campaign literature, to make it sound a lot better than it was. When she was caught she complained to the police that she was being harassed.

Ralph Caruso lied about the cost of the land involved. When he was caught he tried to intimidate his accuser.

The last time he ran, John Burke lied about having the backing of the Conservative party. When he was caught he was forced to leave the race.

These people hint that they will overturn the Board decision. What they don’t tell you is that the decision was based on the New York SEQRA law and that if they deny the application the Town will be sued, we will spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on lawyers and we will lose the case.

They accuse the Board of taking bribes. That’s a total lie.
Away from the cameras, Sullivan and Reveille have pushed this garbage. But, if there was any truth to it they should go to the police. They don’t. It’s a lie.

These people have gone to the lie first, last and always.

If they win then every politician will know that the way to win in Woodbury is to lie your ass off.

No one wants to hear people they know be accused of lying. We know that. By being this blunt we put our organization right in the line of fire. So be it, the stakes are too high to hide. We have no choice.

The alternative is to be quiet and see our Town be destroyed. Make no mistake. The future of Woodbury is on the line.

Choose!

Why Is KJ Sticking It's Nose In

Gedalye Szegedin. KJ's administrator, has sent two of his shills, Ari Felberman and Bob Lawrence to post on this blog. They are accusing Roxanne, Sheila, Gerri and Mike of anti-Semitism. It is their favorite phony charge. It is a total lie.

But why is KJ choosing to get involved? Why do they want Rox, Sheila, Gerri and Mike to lose? Why do they want Caruso and his gang to win?

Has Larkin promised them something,and if so what?

Stable and Corny

The Times Herald and/or Record thinks that Pete is stable (which is good news) but finds Sheila somewhat corny:

For Queenan, Gianzero Voters need to come out in full force and elect Michael Queenan and incumbent Geraldine Gianzero to the Town Board. Both are dedicated to the town and its issues.

Ms. Gianzero, a lifelong resident of our town, knows firsthand what problems the town is facing and works diligently each and every day to make sure that the residents voices are heard loud and clear.

Queenan is also very knowledgeable about the issues facing Woodbury. He is the chairperson of the Planning Board, and is on the Woodbury Comprehensive Plan Committee. His experience with the Town of Woodbury is unmatched by anyone else running for the Town Board.

Please re-elect Sheila Corny to the position of town supervisor. No other supervisor has put in the time and energy that she displays. She cares deeply about this town and understands that the absence of a good leader can be detrimental. She therefore researches every aspect of an issue before making any rash decisions.

Peter M. Stable Highland Mills

Think!

Ralph is trying to control this town.

He runs both political committees.

He’s getting closer to his goal.

Last March, Bob Donnelly, Chairman of the Woodbury Democratic Committee, sent a letter to Sheila Conroy, Town Supervisor. He told Sheila that "you four board members need not consider running again, unless the woodchucks have more votes than 3 thousand others, and you run on an independent line."

"An independent line???" Who the hell is the head of the Democratic Committee to tell a Republican office-holder that she won’t have her own party’s endorsement? Of course, months later, Ralph saw to it that Sheila didn’t get endorsed, but unless the Democratic and Republican Committees were already conniving to make this a one-party town, how would Donnelley know back in March?

He knew, because back then Caruso and Burke were already conspiring to put together their so called "dream team" of John Burke, Darleen Reveille and Henry (Hank) Sullivan, which was to be shoved down our throats, no questions asked.

When the Republican Committee picked its candidates, rather than endorse a sitting Supervisor from their own party, the picked no one. This was to clear the field for Burke. We were not supposed to have a choice.

But Sheila went out and got petitions signed, and Gerri and Mike stood up in the primary and things weren’t going Ralph’s way.

Then last night the Town Board voted on the Brodsky project. Ralph had already set the stage for people to be scared to death of the development. He and his parrots yelled "high density", "high density" so much that people started to believe them. Though how 1 acre zoning could be called high density is a mystery. Most of the people yelling high density live on far smaller lots.

Bear this in mind. The Board did not have to vote on the Brodsky project last night. They could have put it off until after the election. But they refused to allow politics to influence town business. The project was ready to be voted on, so they voted - knowing full well that it would be used against them. There’s a name for that: integrity. Ralph and John wouldn’t understand.

Meanwhile, Ralph still wasn’t scaring enough people into voting for John. Then, this week a very curious thing happened, right here on this blog. KJ’s hired guns Ari Felberman and Robert Lawrence started posting on this blog. They accused Roxanne and Sheila and Gerri and Mike of being anti-Semitic bigots. They twisted people’s words and talked about Hitler and the Holocaust as if wanting to preserve Woodbury’s independence was somehow wrong.

Why were KJ’s henchmen coming to Ralph and John’s aid? Could it be because Ralph’s boss, Bill Larkin, is KJ’s man in Albany? Could it be because Ralph and John’s plan for a moratorium on building would have caused a massive sell off of land to KJ? Could it be that stopping the Brodsky project would force Brodsky to sell the land to the highest bidder (guess who). Could it be that Ralph wants to fill Larkin’s shoes and he needs the KJ leaders as much as they need him?

Think!

A few interesting points

A few interesting points about the WP3 (Brodsky) project:

There will be 130 units for seniors. The town’s adult housing law forbids any sale of senior housing to non-seniors.

Brodsky has committed to develop new sources of water which will provide 340,000 gallons a day beyond what the development will use.

The new water connections and storage will improve water pressure for both domestic and fire fighting.

Brodsky must increase the capacity and upgrade the H L E sewage treatment plant at no cost to the H.L.E. residents.

The development will conserve 113 acres (28 % of site) as public open space outside the gated community.

The project is projected to generate approximately $500,000 in school tax revenue per year beyond what it is expected to cost the school system in new students.

Based on average per capita cost, wp3 is expected to net approximately $1,000,000 more in town tax revenue then it will cost the town because the project will have private roads, 24 hour gated security and two on site recreation facilities.

The projections are provided by the town’s independent consultants.

If you are adamently opposed to the project, anything said here will be dismissed and the Uncle is nothing but a sell out. If you are open to it, ask for proof, make up your own mind and realize that that is what the Uncle did. Up to you.

the only way

Swiller tried to read this at the Town Board Meeting tonight, but it was considered too political. We liked it, so here it is:


Recently I was walking my dogs near my home when they spotted an animal burrow, at the edge of the woods, next to the road. They bolted for it and the air filled with the sounds of growls and barks and snarls and a terrible series of high-pitched squeals.

I pulled my dogs back and saw that both of my sweet and loving dogs had faces covered in blood and one of them had a woodchuck in its mouth.

I pulled and shouted and after way too long my dog dropped the torn and bleeding animal, which pawed the air and died as I watched.

Now, I am a meat eater and a woodchuck is a garden pest and my dogs were only doing what was in their nature to do - but it was an awful thing to see.

Animals and people are dying every second of every day - some in an instant with no time to realize what is happening, and some die drowning in a sea of pain and fear and regret.

And the only way for us to deal with this - the only way - is to make as much good in our lives as is possible and to do all that we possibly can to better those lives that we rub up against. And we must also stand against that which is wrong.

I have closely watched the women on this board and I have seen how hard they work. There is not one hint of secret motive or hidden agenda. They are working only for our betterment.

And at every opportunity there is one group of people who stand up and denounce and accuse and mislead and misstate. And there is nothing of value for anyone in what they do.

And so I speak out, and some are offended. I am sorry about that.

I did not know these people a year and a half ago and I have no reason to seek them out and fight with them. I do not wish to offend those of my neighbors who do not want to hear bad things said about the people they know.

But I see that these people are willing to put all our homes at risk. And they never address how they will deal with that risk.

It would be nice to have nothing ill to say about anyone. But as long as they put our homes and our town in danger, I will speak as I am speaking now.

Because what they do is terribly sad and it is a waste and, if Woodbury is destroyed because of them, it would be unforgivable.

Campaign Short Takes

Last week's Photo News had the Woodbury Republicrat's ad featuring John, Darleen and Bo (remember him) as well as 15 different type faces and a misspelling of Darleen's last name. Now that's impressive.

.........................................................................

The same issue had an ad for Ralph which not only didn't tell you what he was running for. In the photo, Ralph, the dark gray candidate, was against a dark gray background and he was nearly invisible. Good move, the more we see of Ralph, the harder it is to sell him to the public.

.........................................................................

A recent T.H.R. carried a letter from Adrienne Burke (wife of the Democratic candidate) backing Henry (Hank) (the first and only candidate in the history of the "Save Our Town" Party).

During the primary, Henry( Hank)’s supporters were caught off guard when it was pointed out to them that they should list reasons to vote for the man. “Holy Crap,” they must have thought, “there must be some reason. The best they could come up with was “He attends meetings.”

Then, when they realized how really, really pathetic that sounded, they went back into a huddle.
Among the ideas that were rejected were: “speaks at meetings,” “speaks while dancing at meetings,” “reads what we hand him at meetings” and “often stays awake at meetings.”

They briefly considered Darleens’s suggestion: “Let’s just make something up.”

Then Ralph Caruso decided it was time to crack the whip. “You’ll come up with four reasons to vote for Henry (Hank) or I’m going to take the muzzle and restraints off Don Siebold and leave the room.”

It worked. Adrienne Burke was soon able to sign a letter to the Times Herald and/or Record explaining why Henry (Hank) was the way to go: “Hank Sullivan has presented positive alternative suggestions to such things as a safe location for the cell tower, the formation of a town ethics committee, more public participation time, tough questions for developers, etc.”

OK, the Ethics Board would be a good thing. It would also keep someone like, say, Ralph, from chairing both a political committee and the Zoning Board of Appeal (I wonder why Mike Erroneous didn’t vote for it).

“Tough questions for developers”? Okiedoke. The Uncle is thorough. I read through the public hearing transcript until I found a question by Henry (Hank). I found it in this paragraph:

“All these impacts suggested that they have a resolve by the developer. However, if we look close and check the proposed laws to be enacted along with the developer’s proposal, we find many conflicting statements. I will give you one: seniors, of which I am one, seniors are being taken care of. However, it further states seniors don’t have children. That makes someone else feel bad - the taxpayers. Seniors don’t have children, so their taxes will keep the school taxes down. Ask yourself; is this really helping us seniors?”

I agree, the developers would have a tough time answering that one. They might even have a tough time understanding it.

“More public participation time” Aw, for crying out loud. More? Offer less and I’d consider voting for you.

And at the head of the list of reasons to vote for Henry(Hank) there is: “Hank Sullivan has presented positive alternative suggestions to such things as a safe location for the cell tower...”

Yesiree Bob. Hank did in fact suggest putting the tower on Schunemunk Mountain. And while it turns out that reception wouldn’t have been so hot, it wasn’t a bad suggestion. But he made it SIX YEARS AGO! That’s how far back you have to go to find four examples of Hank’s “positive, alternate suggestions?”

Oh my stars and little fishes.

You're Either Part of the Solution or You're Part of the Precipitate

So, this set of questions was just posted. Shall we help a brother out?

Anonymous said...
thought i posted this here but cant seem to find it now...i'm new to woodbury and trying to figure out the politics without having my head spin.

please list the positions of the following on the kj pipeline:
caruso v. donnery
conroy v. burke
the people running for council
diana v. edelstein

you have a very funny blog but i have no idea who's who.
help a brother out.
11:12 AM

Mind if we expand beyond the pipeline and add annexation and other fine things from those wonderful people who run Kiryas Joel?

Caruso v Donnery
Caruso is for a moratorium and against the Brodsky project. The main fallout from those positions would be more large chunks of land on the market to be bought up by guess who. Caruso is the gofer for Bill Larkin, KJ's best friend in Albany. The Uncle agrees with the growing number of people who expect that Ralph hope to take over that position from bill and to get there he plans to be in a position to hand over the Western end of Highland Mills to KJ and then claim "Peace in our time."

Roxanne and Frank Fornario have been the two leading the fight against the Pipeline. They introduced the resolution calling on NYC to drop the plan (which was expected to go nowhere, but, with a major assist from SOCA passed 20 to 1) and they led the fight (along with Spencer McLaughlin) to force the County to sue to challenge KJ's Environmental Impact Statement on the Pipeline.


Conroy v Burke
Burke was asked for his plan to prevent annexation. He said "we have lawyers." No one told him that our delightful neighbor, Mr. Szegedin, has lawyers too. Lots of them. And oodles of money to pay them. We'd go bankrupt before they broke a sweat.

Conroy says that the strongest tool to use against annexation is SEQRA (the State Environmental Quality Review Act). She is considered one of the county's two major experts in SEQRA - the other is Mike Edelstein. She also took part in the talks held by SOCA At Work and the Kiryas Joel dissidents that ended with their dropping their petition to annex a chunk of Woodbury.

The People Running for Council

Gerri took part in the talks mentioned just above.

Queenan: Dunno

Haviland: Dunno

Henry (Hank): all we know is that he announced he would vote against any zoning change that any developer requested, which, by law, now means that if he were on the Board he wouldnt be allowed to vote, because he has already prejudged the issue.

Darleen: As posted here in lots of places - she has said "I don't care about the town, I just care about my home." (yes, she really did say that) and "I don't care if Brodsky sells it to K.J. What do I care, as long as they build at the current zoning." Most telling is the point that Swiller made. When Sheila and the Board got the dissidents to cancel their annexation petition, Darleen complained to the NY dept of state that they were holding illegal meetings - that's the lowest. She is willing to screw the town to score political points. Henry (Hank), for example, would be a disaster on the board, but that's due to stupidity and incompetence, I don't think anyone doubts that he loves Woodbury. Darleen, obviously, doesn't give a monkey fart.

Diana v Edelstein: Diana is in the tank for the powers that be in KJ. HE rolled over on every confrontation. When they filed their environmental impact statement, he sat on it for 6 weeks trying to run out the clock on any court challenge, when they made illegal sewer hookups, he said bad boys, don't do it too often and allowed the hookups to stay. He dragged his feet on suing and was forced into it by Frank, Rox and Spencer McL.
Edelstein sees the problem of expanded use of our resources, the question is, does he have any real answers? Dunno. The Uncle will look into that one and report back.

Burke and Hair?

OK, we've looked into Darleen, Henry (Hank) and, of course, Caruso. Posters have gone after Sheila, Gerri and Roxanne. But we've barely discussed Johnnie Burke. How did he slip through the cracks? Is it that Elvis hair? Is it misattributed respect for the King?

I have another theory. It is impossible to think about John Burke without falling asleep. Listening to him drone on, meeting after meeting, saying nothing that remains in the mind when he is done -he doesn't have sleeping sickness, but he's a carrier.

He is like a brick of shredded wheat. Dry, tasteless, hard to get down, but seemingly good for you. In truth, before the FDA started making trouble for the cereal makers, the nutritional value of shredded wheat was the same as the box it came in. So, is that it? He appears to be good for us (whether or not there's anything there).

So who knows John Burke? Who went to his school or worked there? Is it true that he spent hours a day in the parking lot waving at the cars bringing the kids?

"He's a good man who's done a lot for Woodbury." That's what his PR people say. So, what has he done for Woodbury?

These are real questions. Please let the Uncle know.

Or then again. maybe it is just the hair.

Wow- Mike Erroneous got it right for once. What are the odds? (Well, I remember this time in seventh grade...after that he got sort of odd.)

So here's what mikie has on his blog :

"Winston Churchill once said:A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen. That's the kind of leaders we need so Vote for Ralph Caruso!"

Really!

Honest!

Erroneous admits that Ralph's big strength is to get it wrong and then make excuses. "That's the kind of leader we need"??????????????

Holy hemlock Boys and Girls. This is a keeper!

Her Lips Said Yes, But Harassment No

OK, so Darleen puts out her campaign materials listing who she is and what she does and why that means that she’s really, really a terrific choice for town council.

And what makes her such a great choice? She manages the health department for Garfield NJ, a city bigger than Woodbury. Yay! I’m impressed. I’ll vote for her twice.

But Swiller isn’t so easily impressed, because someone whispers in his ear "She doesn’t manage the Health Department down there."

So, Swiller, who’s got way too much time on his hands, goes and checks the facts.

How?

He calls the Bergen County Department of Health and says "Hello, could you please tell me who manages the City of Garfield Department of Health?" (He is just so very polite, and, did we mention, he’s sweet as pie.)

So, Bergen Health Officer Sam Yanovich, tells Swiller who it is who manages the Garfield Department of Health, and for the life of me, the Uncle doesn’t know who it is (it isn’t in Swiller’s email) but, IT WASN’T DARLEEN REVEILLE.

In fact, Swiller asked, what does Darleen Reveille do there and Sam Yanovich said she was a nurse and why was Swiller asking? So Swiller read the campaign blurb to Sam Yanovich and Sam Yanovich said No, that isn’t so. (OMIGOD!)

So Swiller thanks Sam Yanovich for his time (Polite, remember? Pie, remember?) And then probably goes into a swoon or something,
unhinged by the news that Darleen had deceived her fellow townspeople in order to win their favor.

Half an hour or so into his swoon the phone rings. Instantly unswooning, he picks it up.

Hello (says he).

Hello Jonathan, this is Darleen Reveille (says Darleen Reveille). I heard that you were giving out misleading information about what I do here.

Huh? Huh? Isn’t that backwards (that’s me, the Uncle, commenting here.)

If you want to know what I do (Darleen continues), you should talk to my co-workers and my City Manager Mr. Duch.

OK, I will. (Says Swiller)

So Darleen gives Swiller Mr. Duch’s number (and her own office number so he can call back) and Swiller calls Mr. Duch and he is out and Swiller leaves a message and then calls Darleen back (Wow - is this exciting so far or what?)

The person who answers the phone at Darleen’s office says that she is busy. So Swiller asks to speak to whoever runs the office and he is put through to Ms. English. (Sure sure, it’s a long slog, but you gotta get the facts straight).

Swiller asks Ms. English what Darleen does. "Oh, she is very important to this department. She manages the nurses."

Oh, neat, that does sound important.

"How many nurses are there? Swiller asks.

"Just the two of us." Ms English says.

Let us now pause while that sinks in. Darleen manages the nurses at the Department of Health. There are two nurses at the Department of Health. Darleen is one of the two. The other one is her boss. Um? Eh? Um? Darleen manages her boss? OK.

"Thank you," says Swiller. " You’re very welcome, " says Ms English.

And then Darleen gets on the phone and explains "You know when people write flyers they’ve got to get it down to 200 words." And she says, she manages some outreach programs for the Department of Health.

(After all " Manages some outreach programs for the Department of Health" is a lot like "Manages the Department of Health" except that the second one is shorter, easier to say and is well, sorta, you know, a lie.)

Well Darleen says that Swiller is out to get her and is twisting things and she, Darleen, wants only what is best for Woodbury unlike a part-time resident like Swiller. (ooo, that last one must have hurt - after all, Swiller has spent almost an entire week outside Woodbury in the past year and a half). And then everyone is talking and no one is listening and can’t we all just get on?

This, this is your great story that’s so weird and worth staying up for?

Nope. The neat story comes a few days later when the Police Chief calls Swiller and says that he got a call from some police captain down in Garfield who called because he got a call from Darleen that Swiller is harassing her and her co-workers.

In brief then:

1. Darleen puts out false statements about her work claiming that she manages the department of health (For A City Bigger Than Woodbury).

2. Swiller calls a the Bergen Health officer and asks if it is so. (It ain’t)

3. Darleen calls Swiller. She says speak to the people I work with, and gives him phone numbers to call.

4. He calls them.

This is known as harassment. Remember, candidates must feel free to lie about their records without the fear that some stalker will actually check out the claims. Otherwise our political system would be left to those boring, unimaginative people who tell the truth.

And here’s a new campaign slogan: Vote For Darleen Or She’ll Have You Arrested.

Preparing To Tell The Tale

OK, so the next posting was supposed to be Swiller's second one, but when I read what it was about, I demanded to tell the story, Noooooobody can tell a story this stupid like the Uncle.

There was much arguing and threatening and punching and shoving (well, as much as email allows for) but in the end the Uncle emerged VICTORIOUS!

And I get to tell the story. I get to tell the story.

Now if I screw up I’ll really look like a monumental jerk. SO – give me a little time and I’ll post it by tomorrow.

While you’re waiting, some mood setting.
The place: Woodbury.
The Time: The present.
The Cast: Caruso and his bunch of lying, whining, weasel (oops - got carried away)

Take two

The Cast: Mr. Caruso, Mr. Sullivan,, Mr. Donnelly, Ms Mullooly and our shining star the radiant Ms. Reveille.

Background story number 1: Caruso writes a "My View" talking about the Brodsky project. Accidentally, due to a World War One typing injury, he gets every single fact wrong. Swiller (who is, of course, sweet as pie) goes to the trouble of writing his own "My View" ---

I interupt this posting to bring up a pet peeve. I have written 8 or 14 My Views and not one has been printed (one I shortened and it was printed as a letter). Swiller and Caruso accidentally drop their shopping lists and they get printed as a "My View." The Uncle isn’t paranoid, but he’s seriously considering becoming so. Now back to our tale.

– so Swiller writes a "My View" pointing out Ralphie’s little lapses in truth (if the Uncle were harsher he would call Ralphie’s little fictions "LIES" - which of course they are - but the Uncle isn’t like that. Ralphie responds by going to the Tax Assessor’s Office and looking into Swiller’s taxes. Nice guy, huh? FOR A FASCIST! (Oops, there’s that harshness again - gently, gently...).

Then there is the story of The Dirty Dealings Of The Dancing Dude

(Yeah, yeah, alliteration is the last resort of inspirationally challenged)

(By the way a "Person In Whom I Confide" just wondered in, big nose included and asked "Why are you rewriting this instead of just posting what Swiller sent?" Because my story telling powers are soooooooooo much better AND IT’S MY FLIPPING BLOG! - can any of you children say "Premenstrual"?)

Ok, ok, ok, ok, Background story number 2

So Henry(Hank) writes a letter to the Photo News or the Record or the PennySaver and it is chock-a -block full to bursting with invented facts and hallucinations. And Swiller sticks it in a newsletter and tears it apart line by line and ends by asking -just a sec - gotta get the quote right - we are fastidious about such things - "Should someone as ill informed and/or as dishonest as Hank Sullivan, really be considered for public office?"

Now, that strikes the Uncle as being a valid question - given the L.W.D. (Lie to Word Density) of Henry (Hanks)’s missive.

But H(H) doesn’t see it that way and he sends a couple of his Elder Shock Troops to a particular business establishment in town where SOCA collects (yeah AT WORK, AT WORK, it’s there, shaddup) money and gives out flyers. And these two of Hanksters Gangsters tell the very well beloved proprietress of this place, take down this SOCA AT WORK stuff or no one from the senior center will shop here. And, having just gone through a rough stretch the woman in question does just that.

So, first, did you folks at the Senior Center all know that Hank was using you as a threat against a very nice Woodbury business-woman in order to stop SOCA AT WORK from pointing out that he is a LYING PIECE OF (10, 9, 8, 7, 6 –fine now, thank you, move along, nothing to see)

And second, Caruso and the Gruesome Crewso react to being contradicted in public by trying to keep the other side muffled. This is the group that wants to run Woodbury. Good luck to us all.

As for Darleen’s story. I’ll work on that and put it up sometime soon. It’s time for Lost.

"High Density"

ok, so here is Swiller's first posting (reassembled following his directions):

This Space For Rent

Swiller (yes, yes, I swore that if he was a good boy I'd call him Jonathan, but there is a 4 year-old named Jonathan close unto the Uncle (one might even call him a nephew) and while I have the warmest of feelings for the little fellow, it is hard to read anything associated with that name and not look for the finger-paintings - so "Swiller" will have to do) where was I? Oh yes - Swiller has sent two more things that he wants posted up front and apologized and asked permission and offered to go away and was honest enough to say that nobody (well hardly anyone) reads his site and everyone (well, yes, everyone) reads this one and would I mind? The truth is that the more that he sends, the less work there is for the Uncle. Maybe I'll just start renting space here and retire to the Dry Totugas or wherever.
So, in a bit, I'll put one of his things up (the one with the pictures - pictures are so much more - um - um - picturesque than blocks of type).

Great New Prize Almost Offered

To the first person who can send in a scan of the palm card, threatening note or poison pen letter that Henry (Hank) and his faithful indignant companion were handing out today at the Post Office - a wonderful prize, almost.
You will win the vague promise that if we ever do have the shirt shown here, we would definitely consider thinking about the possiblity of giving you one of these elegant tank tops. Maybe.

This just arrived in the mail bag:


From :
Jonathan Swiller
Sent :
Sunday, October 23, 2005 6:04 PM
To :
cuzzincookie@hotmail.com
Subject :
Ralph's Signs






Inbox
Please post on the Uncle Betty Blog (rather than in the comment area) thanks

Last Night (Saturday) we were out at about midnight placing our signs next to Ralph's. This morning our signs were there, but most of Ralph's were missing.

Everyone deserves to have their signs left in place. Whoever is taking Ralph's signs is not just breaking the rules, he's breaking the law.

Taking anyone's signs has to stop. If you see it being done call the police. We don't have to play dirty to defeat Ralph, that's his game, not ours.

Jonathan Swiller

October 21, 2005
Ruling cheers opponents of KJ pipeline
By Chris McKenna Times Herald-Record
cmckenna@th-record.com
decision available at:
http://www.recordonline.com/archive/2005/10/21/pipe21.htm
Goshen – Opponents of Kiryas Joel's proposed connection to New York City's Catskill Aqueduct won a big victory yesterday when a judge ordered the village to continue studying the water project's potential impact. Ruling on a lawsuit brought by Orange County, acting state Supreme Court Justice Stewart Rosenwasser declared that Kiryas Joel's environmental review inadequately addressed several issues, including the treatment of wastewater that the pipeline would generate.

The decision doesn't in itself stop the project, but it requires Kiryas Joel to prepare an additional report – known as a supplemental environmental impact statement – that provides a fuller analysis of those issues.

Opponents of the water project were jubilant. "I'm thrilled at the outcome," said county Legislator Roxanne Donnery, a Highland Falls Democrat. "I'm not surprised." But she and Frank Fornario, a Republican colleague who helped goad the county into an unlikely confrontation with Kiryas Joel, also criticized County Executive Ed Diana for not intervening in the $22 million project before a lawsuit became his only recourse. "We got involved a little later in the project than I would have liked," Fornario said.

Michael Edelstein, a Democrat challenging Diana for office on Nov. 8, joined in that line of criticism: "This is exactly the kind of place where Eddie should have been at the beginning. Instead, he was asleep."

Diana was attending a ceremony for retired Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor at West Point yesterday, but his office issued a statement from him that merely recounted the events that led to the suit and avoided any fist-pumping. "I stated early on that a lawsuit is always the last resort," Diana said.

Kiryas Joel Administrator Gedalye Szegedin and one of the village's lawyers both expressed disappointment in the decision and left open the possibility of an appeal. Szegedin said the village still plans to proceed with its 13-mile pipeline. "We believe the environmental review that we did was very thorough and complete," Szegedin said. Daniel Ruzow, an Albany attorney who argued for the village in court, said Rosenwasser ignored "a variety of issues regarding selective enforcement." "He bought the county's arguments," he said. "The county has never applied those arguments toward any other project."

The village proposed building the pipeline to secure an ample water supply for its booming population and end its reliance on limited ground water. The pipe would cross through several towns and tap the Catskill Aqueduct in New Windsor. Residents and officials from neighboring communities launched a vehement protest last year, arguing that access to a virtually unlimited water source would perpetuate overdevelopment in Kiryas Joel and fuel its future expansion.

Spencer McLaughlin, a county lawmaker whose district abuts Kiryas Joel and who helped lead the Legislature opposition, said the ruling vindicated the environmental concern he first highlighted: the scarcity of sewage-treatment capacity. "It's not the end of the fight against the pipeline," McLaughlin said. "It's the end of the beginning of the fight against the pipeline."

Copyright Orange County Publications, a division of Ottaway Newspapers Inc., all rights reserved.

Well, the Uncle was there, but, things did not go as expected. The town workers turned out, first picketing out front and then quietly walking in to Town Hall. The Uncle was so proud of his namesake who spoke for the group, firmly but with dignity. Neato! Well done!

Sheila had to leave because of a family wake. But she was there long enough for Carol Mullooly to turn the proceedings back into a farce. Yippee! Good job Carol!

Mullooly came close to matching her all time best line ("I can't keep coming up here to make a fool of myself."). Tonight's entry came close: "It's a waste of the Board's time listening to my issues."

Then, in Darlien's (yes, there is a new contest - how many ways can you spell her name?) absence, Mullooly took up the "Can I Get The Town Sued?" challenge.

Basically, when someone, the Uncle for example, has an application to do something (build a chemical weapons testing facility perhaps) before the Board, the Board has to follow legal procedure in dealing with it. They'll hold public hearings where scardie-cats will say why I shouldn't get permission and I'll tell them why I should.

The one thing the Board can't do is discuss my application, in public, without me there to answer. That includes public comments.

Now this is not such a hard concept to grasp. Don't talk about me at any public, official proceeding when I aint there. If you do, I'll sue the pants off you.

For some reason Reveille and Mullooly don't get this. It's been explained about thirteen gazillion times.

Reveille will say " The Uncle's chemical test...oh I can't talk about it? OK, it's just that the chemical test site...oh, OK, sorry...I just wanted to make the point that the chemical test...oh...sorry, sorry...all I was saying was that when our soldiers in Iraq are dying for our right to test chemical weapons...oh, I see, sorry, sorry..I'm just saying that a test site for chemical weapons..."

Mullooly's take is to demand her first amendment rights and the Board tells her that she can talk about it anywhere she wants but not at an official Board meeting or the Town will get sued.

And the Town Attorney tries again and again and again to explain to these nitwits why they can't talk about an application and they are either too thick to get it, or they just want to show that the Board is made up of fascists who refuse to allow free discussion (well, not quite free - after someone sues them the price tag will be pretty hefty).

Roxanne Donnery was there and she got to talk about Rosenwasser's decision to tell KJ that their Final Environmental Impact Statement on the pipeline wasn't as Final as all that and they had to go rewrite it.

Since Rox was one of the people who forced the issue into court to begin with she had reason to smile. If Ralphie had gotten up after that to talk about giving poll watchers bathroom breaks (why does he keep bringing that up- poll watchers are allowed to pee- honest - I checked) he would have looked kinda silly. And Ralph doesn't like to look silly - that's what he's got Henry (Hank) and Mullooly for.

But Henry (Hank) fell down on the job. He didn't perform nor John nor Darlean nor Ralphie himself.

And Swiller had no one to react to so he didn't say a peep - but he was having a high old time anyway because everyone (well not everyone - but Sheila and Gerri and Rox) all thanked him for SOCA and SOCA 2 and SOCA 3 and all the baby SOCAs yet to come for helping get the pipeline stopped.

So all in all it was pretty tame stuff and the Uncle was bored and so this entry is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay boring because why should the Uncle suffer alone?

Forgive Them Father, They Know Not How They Look
or
Open Mike Night At The Home

OOOOO! Call the sitter, there’s fun tonight at Town Hall. It’s the last Town Meeting with any chance of making it onto TV.before the election. Ralph’s Ragged Rangers will be pulling out all the stops (and you never knew they had stops, did you?)

What To Look For

Henry (Hank)’s latest dance moves as he tries to read a script he’s just been handed containing “his own comments.”

Carol (My Mother Dresses Me Funny) Mullooly, grinding gears as she goes directly into high dudgeon from a standing start to denounce the board’s poor manners for not falling into a dead swoon at her chastisements.

Darleen (Darlene) Reveille, explaining that she is not making a political speech while somehow mentioning 14 times that she is a candidate, how selfless she is, how she is so, so, so, not there to attack anyone, especially the Board which is doing so little, so poorly, for all the wrong reasons and that’s the only reason she’s running, but that’s irrelevant, she is just there as a loving citizen and why oh why is this super high density slum filled with homes for seniors that no senior could ever possibly afford or want or need when if we really cared for our seniors we’d put them all in hospices and turn them into Soylent Green and why do mean people keep saying bad things about me and no matter what happens after the election the Board will still have two months to destroy the town and oh those poor seniors shoved into million dollar high-density homes against their wills and have I gotten the Town sued yet, and sorry, sorry, it’s just that I care too much and here’s what’s wrong with you and if you plan on contradicting in any way shape or form I’ll have to leave because I’m just that sensitive and sweet.

Ralph Caruso, having prompted each and every one of these underlings in what they've just said, will act like he’s the only adult in the room, wanting to talk about Important Business. Will he be “Aide To Senator Larkin” explaining what fine beads and shiny things he has brought the natives (stuff that Larkin could have given the town a year ago, but hoarded till this very moment so Ralphie could play Santa Claus) or how he fought Eddie Diana into giving Woodbury its fair share of Woodbury Common tax revenue (somehow ignoring that this was actually done by Roxanne and merely announced a second time by Eddie in order to give what has to be called an “Unearned Tax Credit” to Ralphie)?

The return of ponderous John. Will Mr. Burke break his self-imposed silence to let us know, at length, how terribly wrong things are going and how Woodbury must be saved from the evil pack of women?

Other stuff to look for

Message of the Day

Last time out, three unconnected strangers who never met until that night(Henry (Hank), Lulu Mullooly and Darling Darleen) coincidentally all attacked Mike Queenan with the same exact words - what an astonishing coincidence. So, what will they all do tonight? Our money is on a speed round of “Savage the Supervisor”

Thank You Mike

How many ways can the posse thank Mike Erroneous for all the wonderful things he’s done and fought for despite those terrible terrible woman. (And for you hard core drinkers out there play “Mike Shots” and knock back a tequila each time Mike pops out of his seat and heads for that mysterious room on his right. Have a basin ready.)

Spot the Uncle

Having missed too many live performances, the Uncle will really, really, really try to be there tonight. So which one is he?

The Uncle received a very pleasant and non-whiney note from our Kodak Moment buddy. As a result he will, from now on, be referred yo as Jonathan. The Uncle is a sucker for good manners.

(By the way if you have any pix - or whatever - worth posting, send them to cuzzincookie@hotmail.com and they will find their way to the Uncle)

In part he says:

"I spoke with Bo Haviland last night and asked if he was still running. He said yes. I asked him about the signs on Burke's lawn and he said that I didn't check out the other side. I went back and looked and there was Bo's sign on the reverse side of Darleen's. I don't recall that it was there before, but I am not certain. What I am certain of is that there is a new sign added to the other two."

Update on the Carcass, Oops, Caucus.
As one of the Anonymi noted, Bob Reveille endorsed his wife. Can't get a more objective view than that. He also endorsed John Burke, and that's just ducky too. And as to Bo? Well, that's all there is, there ain't no Bo.

We know that the Caruso Clan was pushing Henry (Hank), the poor man's Fred Astaire, for one of the two Town Council seats . So we all wondered which of the two Dems, Darleen or the Bo-ster would be tossed overboard. After her little malfunction a few weeks back it looked like Darleen was leaving the island, but now we know it's Bye Bye Bo.

Swilly Boy is rapidly becoming our favorite shutter bug and has sent on two more pix. The first is John Burke's lawn (again) Last time he sent a photo showing Burke's lawn with a Henry (Hank) sign. This time the signs are for Johnny himself and Bubbles Reveille. No Bo.

The second pic is the lawn of Mr. Henry (Hank). One sign for H(H), one for Ralphie and one for Johnny Burke.

WHO THE HELL LEFT THE SINK RUNNING?

The Uncle goes away a couple of days and the place nearly washes away! Sheesh!

Well I see you all have been busy. I’m still catching up on the comments, though some seem a tad repetitive (yes Workers, I’m looking at you).

The biggest hoot are the letters in the photo news. My fave has to be the one listing all of Ralph’s good points, signed by Mike Erroneous. Anyone who read Mike’s Blog before he removed all of his own writing knows that the poor man is illiterate. Ralph had to have written the letter for him.

The image of Ralph sitting there in his Dr. Dentons typing "Over the past few years I have met many people in the political arena, but I still have not met a person who can match up to the amount of energy, enthusiasm, vision and drive that Ralph Caruso has." Gee Ralph, you left off handsomest and most modest.

Almost as funny was that Ralph "is respected by local, county and state officials." Oh, yeah, Ralphie, in a pig’s eye!

Well, the Uncle has things to do and people to do them to.

And remember, if don’t have anything nice to say about someone, say it here.

Rumor crushers
There is no truth to the rumor that Hank Sullivan used to be a Dime-A-Dance hustler
There is no truth to the rumor that Jonathan Swiller ate Joe Ferguson
There is no truth to the rumor that Ralph Caruso is one of the undead
There is no truth to the rumor that Sheila Conroy moonlights as a mime
There is no truth to the rumor that Darlene Reveille (oh wait, that one's true)
There is no truth to Don Siebold
There is no truth to the rumor that Lorraine McNeil thinks she is a masked crime fighter by night
There is no truth to the rumor that Mike Aronowitz knows what he is talking about
There is no truth to the rumor that Geraldine Gianzero was a speech teacher
There is no truth to the rumor that Maria Hunter once killed a man by just staring at him
There is no truth to the rumor that Burke, Sullivan, Swiller, Crouse, Reveille, Mullooly, Haviland and Caruso are in love with the sound of their own voices

Comments Anyone?

October 10, 2005

Woodbury race heats up

By Brendan Scott Times Herald-Record bscott@th-record.com Woodbury –

To the patchwork of communities tucked in these rocky hills, it must sometimes seem as if the Orange County Legislature's 14th District is a land besieged. To the south looms the nuclear power plant at Indian Point with its 10-mile evacuation zone. To the east sits West Point, which brings jobs and prestige but withholds thousands of acres from the tax rolls. To the west are the traffic conundrum of Woodbury Common and the exponential growth of Kiryas Joel. It should be no surprise, then, that both candidates vying to represent this area in the county Legislature approach their campaigns with a certain siege mentality. Over the years, Ralph Caruso and Roxanne Donnery have each gained a reputation for aggressively assessing and pursuing each new threat to this area's cherished quality of life. That shared tenacity might explain why the two have so often clashed over matters of politics, motivation and approach. On Nov. 8, they'll go head-to-head for the second time in four years, a rematch sure to be among this year's most-watched local races. For Caruso, this race is just the latest step in a 35-year quest to gain a voice in the community he first moved to "to mind my own business; own my little piece of land." But whatever pretense of seclusion Caruso had soon vanished after the faucets in his new house belched brown water, and his neighborhood had to fight to get municipal water. Caruso said he was "introduced to a government that wasn't as responsive as it should be." Since then, Caruso has been a fixture at all manner of public meetings, where he often rails against taxes or some zoning issue. As legislator, he promises to challenge the county budget process, fight for a larger share of county sales tax revenue and push the county to investigate the urban planning practices of the Hasidic community of Kiryas Joel. These are things Caruso says Donnery should have accomplished after two terms in Goshen. "She's been there eight years," he said one recent afternoon while handing out palm cards at the post office near his Highland Mills home. "What has she done?" Donnery will tell you she has done everything that others in power told her she couldn't – or shouldn't – do. Last year, the Democrat was among a handful of lawmakers who pressed the county to sue the politically influential Village of Kiryas Joel over its plan to tap the New York City aqueduct. She displayed a similar drive in the mid-1990s as president of the Highland Falls school board while advocating for more federal impact aid from West Point. But Donnery says it was while protecting her mentally ill older brother on the school bus that she "learned to take on bullies." "Who's your opponent?" a patron of the Fort Montgomery post office asked Donnery during one of her campaign stops. "His name is Ralph Caruso," she said, pausing to smile, "and he's a bully." While this is a county election, it can hardly be separated from local politics. Caruso heads the Republican committee that refused to support the party's incumbent candidates for Woodbury Town Board. He also works for state Sen. Bill Larkin, R-Cornwall-on-Hudson, who must face Kiryas Joel's potent block vote every two years. Each could prove to be a liability for Caruso. "He would have a hard time taking a stance, when his Senator, who he works for, has put so many dollars into that community," Donnery said. "His actions are what helped empower the bloc vote." Caruso, however, says his public opposition to Kiryas Joel's expansion confirms his independence. His only motivation, he said, is preserving the quality of life of a district surrounded by threats. "I do what I believe is right," Caruso said.

Would you buy a used political party from this man?

We just received these from a source who wishes to remain in the shadows. They were accompanied by a question: Remind you of anyone?

As promised, Swilly Boy sent me a bunch of pix. These two make clear who was present.






Swilly wrote:
"Here is a small caucus after this Thursday's (10/6/05) Town Board session. Carol Mullooly, Ralph Caruso, John Burke, and Hank Sullivan.
They act as a single team. They used Mullooly's name on their misleading post card campaign because she isn't running for anything. It doesn't change the fact that Ralph and John were behind it."

What Does It Profit A Man If He Gains The Whole World But Loses His Keys?
or
If Your Grassroots Organization Saves the Town But Nobody Hears About It Are You Out Of The Woods?

I just got back from Washington DC and boy are my twenty-first century governmental paradigms tired.

And now a very short history of the SOCAs (because no one really cares). So first there was S.O.C.A. which was a dumb name to begin with, but they got the County Leg to pass a resolution asking NY not to give KJ the Pipeline and that probably meant one hell of a lot to the NYC Council (not).

Then there was SOCA-OCEAN which is a completely meaningless name and they backed Nancy Calhoun (who would have won anyway) and Bonnie Kraham (who lost, but beat the KJ block vote in Monroe, but still lost) and then came SOCA At Work which makes some sense as a name since by then just plain SOCA was in a coma. SOCA At Work got the KJA to drop its petition to annex part of Woodbury, but nobody knows about it so big whoop.

The point of all this is Uncle Betty’s first contest. You ready? Here goes:

UNCLE BETTY’S FIRST ANNUAL NAME THE NEW SOCA CONTEST

Once a year, when Swiller gets bored and starts a new SOCA, it will need a name, and that’s where we come in. The best name for the new SOCA will win something (the Uncle hasn’t decided what, but I am sure it will be snazzy).

To help get the ball rolling here are a few suggestions.

SOCA At the Mall

SOCA In Blue Jeans

SOCA On Alternating Thursdays

SOCA Medioca

Go SOCA Your Head

La SOCA Loca

SOCA meets the Wolfman

To submit your new name click the word “comment” just below this sentence.

As promised, here’s exhibit 1. And a truly fine specimen it is (if we’re talking gastroenterology).

Carol Mullooly is a member in good standing of the Caruso-Burke posse. She sent this postcard out just before the Republican primary.

In case you can’t make it out it begins:

Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Here are two reasons NOT to vote for Geraldine Gianzero for Woodbury Town Council.
On Open Government:
In 2001, and again in this election, Geraldine Gianzero promises open government, yet Gianzero made the motion to close the Public Hearing, which allows 483 housing units to be built. Gianzero said on July 18th "I would like to make a motion to close the public heating and allow people who want to speak just put it in writing and submit it." Myself and other residents were waiting to speak, having been told earlier that evening that we would be allowed to make our comments and be heard. Is that open government?

Holy Moley. Gianzero shut down the hearing!?!? HOW CAN THAT BE????

Well, the lovely and fragrant Ms. Mullooly sorta, kinda forgot to tell you a couple of things. Such as: IT WAS 12:30 AT NIGHT AND THE DAMNED MEETING HAD GONE ON FOR 5 HOURS!

Also Mullooly had already spoken 4 times!

And, minor point, it’s 451 units, not 483, but why sweat the details when you don’t really give a rat’s ass for the truth to begin with?

So, is Mullooly the least bit interested in giving us real information to work with?

Nope!

She figures we’re all idiots and don’t deserve the truth.

Expect more of this same crap from this gang just before the November election. Late hitting misinformation is one of Ralph Caruso’s favorite little toys.

By the way, Mullooly played the same crooked game at the first hearing, reading only half a sentence from the master plan in order to confuse folks. We’ll save that one for a another day.

There’s just a bit too much Mullooly on me for the moment and I have to take a shower.

Caucus

Main Entry: caucus
Pronunciation: 'ko-k&s
Function: noun
Etymology: origin unknown
: a closed meeting of a group of persons belonging to the same political party or faction usually to select candidates or to decide on policy; also : a group of people united to promote an agreed-upon cause .

Thus sayest Merriam-Webster.

"So what?" you well may ask. Go ahead, ask, I'll wait.

Here's what. Before and after most big town meetings, like the two at the Monroe Woodbury High School Ralph Caruso has a caucus. He puts his head together with his pals and they talk.

Maybe they talk about the weather. Or the price of gas. Or Val and Jennifer. Whatever the subject is, the chats are lengthy and, to the not so casual observer, at times intense.

"So what?" You well may repeat. Again, feel free.

Well, here are some of the folks who huddle:

Ralph , Don (Ankle Biter) Siebold, Henry (Hank) Sullivan, Carol (Half the facts, half the time) Mullooly, John (Whatever it is, I’m against it) Burke, Darlene (Bubbles) Reveille.

“But wait,” (that’s your line) “are these not in fact political opponents? Are not Henry (Hank) and Darlene running against one another?” (Gee, you speak funny) “Did you not quote the venerable Merriam-Webster as saying that a caucus consists of persons belonging to the same political party or faction?”

Yeah, yup, uh huh.

Piece #3

Ours is a shallow culture. The things that we ought to hold as important we don’t. The silly, little things which should mean nothing, mean all.

A name. How important can a name be? And yet, our names may be our destinies.

When Mr. and Mrs. Geraldine Gianzero’s Parents had their little daughter, something about her reminded them of Flip Wilson in drag.

When Mike’s parents (Which Mike? That’s the point.) decided, let’s name our son the same thing that everyone else in America is naming their son this year, was this in the best interest of the child? (By the way, have you noticed that not one of them feels the need to call himself "Michael (Mike)"?)

And then there is Ralph. COME ON PARENTS! You went and gave your kid a name that’s a euphemism for barfing! This is a baby we’ve got here, and he’s got to grow up hearing "After that 8th shot of tequila I ralphed all over my shoes."

Don’t do this to a child! I, Uncle Betty, know the burden of an ill-considered Christening!

OK, there was Ralph Bellamy. But he was a handsome man with a head of hair like a God!

And, to be honest, our Ralph isn’t.

As to the hair. It really isn’t so big a deal. Look at how Mike Erroneous deals with male pattern baldness. He shaves his head. And he looks fine.

Well, sure, he looks a little weasley. But no one says that it is an unhandsome weasliness.

Unfortunately, when it came to handsomeness, the Lord had other plans for Ralph. And mysterious are His ways (the Lord’s I mean) (well, come to think of it so are Ralph’s).

But, but, but...what’s with the comb-over? Shave your head, wear a wig, get implants, tattoos, cover your head in tin foil...any of these has to better than that comb-over. Come on now!

So, is it any wonder that a baby so ill treated by his parents, who became a man, so cast aside by the Hair Club for Men, would turn to the dark side?

Do not merely look at Ralph, sneer and turn away. Look at Ralph, feel some pity, then sneer and turn away.

John Burke is the Democratic candidate for Woodbury Town Supervisor. His running mates are Darlene Reveille and Amidee Havilland, both candidates for the Town Council.

John Burke's wife is a Republican. The Republican Candidates for these three positions are Sheila Conroy, Geraldine Gianzero and Mike Queenan.

Pretty boring so far, huh? Stick around.

Parenthetical Henry (Hank) Sullivan is running for the Town Council on the Dancing Carnivore ticket or something.

Ralph Caruso, head of the Town Republican Party is not out there talking up the virtues of his party's candidates (and a virtuous group they are). His heart belongs to the man with the parentheses: Henry (Hank).

So, does John festoon his lawn with signs for Darling Darlene and Amiable Amidee? Does John's wife insist on equal time for her parties champions Gerri and Mike?

No Siree Bob! Here's what one sees:

Now to be fair (and Uncle Betty is always, always, always fair) this picture was taken before the primary. Is the sign still up? Dunno.

BUT

on Woodbury Day (After the primary mind you) John Burke was handing out (Hank)'s flyers at the Democrats' table.

Ay Caramba Johnny Boy, this is not a good thing. It is called "Selling out your running mates" and in many parts of the world it is punishable by making shame shame finger motions in the general direction of the guilty party.

I fear that we must put a big, red Does Not Play Well With Others into Johnny's permanent record.

And, while you may be displeasing your running mates, your party's officials and the finely tuned sensibilities of the Uncle, who the heck do you please by doing such a mean and rotten thing?

Oh.

Yeah.

I get it.

piece # 2

Whadya mean the Democratic Committee is run by the head of the Republican Committee? Huh? Huh? Whadya mean???

OK, let's build a case, shall we? A large number of small parts that fit together to form the jigsaw puzzle that is Ralph Caruso's Domain.

This election the Republican Committee was in an enviable position when it came to Town Supervisor. The incumbent, Sheila Conroy, is doing a fine job, is well liked and is a REPUBLICAN. So, who does Caruso's committee nominate for supervisor to run against the Democrat John Burke? NOBODY!

How odd!

How strange!

How Caruso!

Caruso doesn't control Conroy. This is a nono in Carusoland.

What Caruso (aide to State Senator Bill Larkin, y'know) doesn't control

he hates

and fears

and tries to squish.

Just like his boss (did I mention that he's aide to Senator Bill Larkin? Oh yeah, I did).

So, to recap. Instead of nominating incumbent Supervisor Sheila Conroy to run against John Burke, Caruso and his pet thing Don (the Don) Siebold, twist arms, legs and the truth to get their committee to nominate no one. Thus, unless something changed, Burke would run unopposed.

But then...

...something changed.

Conroy went out, on her own, with petitions and won her place on the ballot.

Oooowheee Doggie. Ralph didn't like that.

piece # 1

Welcome to Woodbury, where...

politics is a blood sport

democracy is a somewhat hazy concept

honest, free and open debate is on back-order

the Democratic Party is run by the head of the Republican Party

the Town Supervisor thinks that a brief answer is used only to respond to the question "jockeys or boxers?"

the traffic from Woodbury Commons, Route 6, Route 32, Route 17, Larkin Drive, Nininger Road and the New York State Throughway meet to form Orange County's finest parking facility

a new grass roots organization with SOCA somewhere in the title is born every six months

more whoppers are sold during the public comment segment of the Town Meetings then at all the Burger Kings in North America

West Point seems to do most of their loud blowing up of things

rumors are our single greatest export

if there is no street bearing your family name you're a newcomer

and

where the vast majority of the people living in the hamlets of Central Valley and Highland Mills haven't the faintest idea what a hamlet is.

Or as I think of it: home!

Quote of the day (though not necessarily today): "What ever happened to the Town Newsletter?" - Mike Aronowitz, Chairman of the Town Newsletter Committee.

Did you know?: Ralph Caruso is an aide to Senator Bill Larkin.
(Oh, you knew.)

Second quote of the day: "I can't keep coming up here to make a fool of myself" - Carol Mullooly, upon coming up to the podium at a town board meeting to make a fool of herself.

Did you know?: Jonathan Swiller isn't actually pregnant.

Third quote of the day: "I don't care about the town, I just care about my home." - Darlene Reveille, candidate for town councilwoman.